As it rains, My tears do likewise; fall. I try to catch them, but they slip through my fingers, much like the rest of the world, slipping through the cracks of my dreams into my quick makeshift reality. My spins down, down into an infinite hellish eternity I call my conscience. Everything is dark, sodden, black. Lifeless hums come from outside, trying to creep into my mind, rewire my thoughts. Quickly I try to bombard them, keep them out. They persist and concave my mind, fluttering madly into my head, saying bad, bad things.

"Worthless, Fat, not good enough, never good enough. Stop. Stop trying, it will never ever happen. You will never win, you will be stuck here, forever."
A heavy, aching in my chest. Pounding fluid rush my ears, hearing the roar of my heartbeat. Tears collect once more. The saltiness cuts through my chaffed skin stings as I wipe the tiny droplets of disappointment and failure away. Thoughts subside to a fatigue as I float through a sleepy realm that's my only safe, my only escape. And I awake I find the same thoughts that tore through my conscious gracefully surface- a repeating cycle that never ends.