It was like a dream
so unreal,
But yet it was happening
I could play it in my mind
like a movie,
over and over
my tears were like waves
It hurt,
the blistering pain of my heart
was like being stabbed repeatedly.
Eventually,
the pain went way,
like the rest of my happiness
But like always,
the pain returned
like a lost friend
sort of like a scab
if you left it alone
it would heal
But I picked at it, and the blood came rushing out,
drowning me
just as my emotions had
and the pain repeated itself
and I just sat back and watch it happen, all over again
It was like that feeling you get
when you watch a scary movie
I wanted to look away, but I couldn't
I wanted to turn it off, but I wouldn't
because I knew something bad was going to happen
and I needed to watch
and so I did
But suddenly, I raised my hands with agony
And banged them against the screen
I couldn't see myself go through this anymore
So helpless and alone
I felt like a fighter
I hit the screen harder, hoping for some relief
tears rushing out of my eyes,
burning my face, creating holes of emptiness
I hit harder against the screen
praying, hoping, wishing for this to stop
but it wouldn't
The emotions had become immune to my fighting
So I gave up, like every other time
I could do nothing but watch
just watch myself slip away,
with the rest of my sanity...