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For the nights I stayed inside under my hot sheets
I absorb a body
 
 and envy their doings-
 
 fearless, bold-
 
 as they sit on the cold metal train
 
 on a Saturday night
 
 a deep red lip
 
 and gold buckle 
 
 boots.
 
 
 
 Maybe soon
 
 I can feel again
 
 and see through the charcoal rain
 
 that it is my own body I have absorbed,
 
 this is all me.
 
 
 
 My gold heels sparkling
 
 in the reflection
 
 of my proud heart
 
 overcoming
 
 the demons
 
 that made my blood stop flowing
 
 for much too long now.
 
 
 
 I am the girl I envied
 
 and my demons
 
 envy me.

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