Maybe I was lucky in knowing this was never to be,
Because it was the rise and the fall of our two hearts
As the blood of our twisted lies pulsated through our body,
Poisoning us with all the deviance and lust we needed to believe
What we were saying was true.
And love even though you acted sickly sweet, I found it hard to believe I was meant
To be the original recipient of the syllables spewing forth your lips.
How could two Homo sapiens whose coronary muscles were so different from each other
Could find themselves entangled in the same f***ed up cycle.
Maybe I should be thank full that some poor soul wasted .8586325035875 seconds of their life
To pretend that I matter to them.
That maybe the stars had aligned and the missing puzzle piece
I loss when I was three was found.
But it thoughts like this that warp my mind and place me in a false sense of euphoria
You are not a drug that take me away for an hour
You are a toxin poising my insides.
You are not momma’s kisses taking away the pain away at 5
You are not the music or books I reside in.
You are the crash and fall that drives me insane.
I have harbored my emotions,
Locked the door and boarded up the windows.
Because of you, you with your fire lashing tongue,
You screwing with my mind till I’m not me anymore
Maybe I should have gave into your tender words,
The ones that promised passion
Maybe I should have put my doubts aside
And allowed you to take the pain away
And make me feel significant
And god I should have because at the end of the day I am left
Worn and torn in the wreckage I call life.
Maybe you were meant to be a distraction to heal my wounds
Like mommas kisses or my music and pages that tied the pages
Of my writing together.
Maybe I should have said no and walked away
But there was something
That pulled me back to you
Maybe it’s your touch I crave
To feel the fire and not get burned
To be held someone stronger than me
To forget it all for even one night.