I can't seem to summon the tears i want to shed
All i feel is dread and shameful thoughts fill my head
I fear the worst
I can't seem to get on the right course
I want to cry and cry
but i can't summon the tears to do so
I wish i was able to
I wish i could be held
I need someone now
but who is willing to talk to someone
who has been broken and placed back together?
I just want to cry
let my tears flow
I want to stop shaking
my past keeps awakening
and i can't seem to get them asleep
so they would leave me at peace
I can't summon my tears
I fear the worst
I know what i am capable of
I knwo i could do something stupid
but knowledge keeps me from it
However how long till i break?
How long till i do cut along the river and watch it flow?
I can't understand how i feel
these emotions are like a constent stabbing into my chest
and i must confess
more than once i have wanted to be laid down to rest
and buried six feet under ground
I just want to cry
I even think i want to die
I feel useless
unworthy
selfish
I can't summon my tears
have they finally stopped
I wish my heart would stop
I need to cry
but i wish i could Die
but i can't deny
that i haven't thought of it before
I want to cry
just to show i still have feeling.
I don't want to be like my father
but i must be since i am selfish.
I can't do anything right
I wish to be left alone
forgotten
and stop living..
but i won't
I am needed here
at least i hope i am
but as long as i am needed
I will stay
no matter the cost
I made that vow and I will keep it.
Even if I no longer shed tears
Hopefully someone could.