The monster waits
Waiting for me
Though as frightening as it is
There’s something comforting about it
Is it the idea that I’m not as alone as I think I am?
Or just that someone or something has taken the time to notice me.
I suppose I’ll never know.

The monster is my enemy
But I can’t imagine life without it
I want it to go away
To rid me of the false closure it gives me
But the feeling I get when I think about it
The small sense of dignity I get
It makes it worth it.

So I sit waiting
Waiting for someone to fix this for me
I’m not surprised I always do this
I can’t even face the one thing stopping me from a happy life
But I don’t know what’s worse
Holding on to the one thing I truly hate?
Or hoping in vain for someone to save me.