My whole life,
I’ve been told my hips were too big,
That I needed to eat less.
I’ve been told my thighs were too close together,
And I needed to start exercising.
I’ve been told my skin was as white as snow,
And that I needed to tan during the summer.

My whole life,
I’ve been told I need to get rid of…
The fat that lingers on my stomach.
To get my abnormally wide nose fixed.
To remove my ear piercings,
And to grow out my hair down to my back,
Just to be society’s definition of beautiful.

My whole life,
I watched my mom struggle,
With being happy with her body.
At ten I had to visit my sister in the hospital
Because she took one too many pills,
Overwhelmed by the tiny imperfections,
That she got judged so often for.
I watched my sister become bone thin,
Refusing any nutrients that could enter her skinny body.

My whole life,
I grew up being judged,
Changing who I was,
Just to please everyone.
I soon began to listen,
To their voices echoing in my head.
I came up with excuses,
Just to miss a meal.
“I already ate”
“I don’t feel well”
“I’m really full”
“I had a big lunch”
In just two months,
I lost forty five pounds
Just because I’ve been trying,
To drown out the screams.


My whole life,
I’ve been told I need to live up to society’s standards,
But what if I don’t want to anymore?
What if I like my hips big
And I like that my thighs touch each other?
What if I like that I can’t darken my skin color?
What if I just want to be myself?