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January 15, 2014

Do you ever look at your reflection and see yourself…
Rip your face off with your bare hands
Dig your nails into all your faults
Peel off the scarred and scabbed skin
Coaxing frustration into a chemical potent enough to burn off all the wrong
Only to glance away in disgust with a crinkled brow
Maybe one day I will look back and see something pleasant, elegant, attractive, even Loved.
Push and squeeze the love handles until the fat is sucked inward to fill the empty space beneath my rage.
Maybe if I suck in my gut long enough someone will see the core of who I used to be.
Now shattered like glass
Maybe there is a man strong enough to piece me back together again.
Compressed in flakes of green within my eyes
Maybe I stand alone- slumped and forever a set of wide ice blue eyes gazing out
The window to my soul
Fogged over by a reoccurring mist of shame, disgust, and frustration
Sliding down the pane with a slow self-mutilating drip
To form a muddled pool of discombobulated thoughts
Where I sink into myself and do the only thing that still feels right
Hide.


The author's comments:
This is what High school does to girls.

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