I hear my phone
Ringing
Ringing
Ringing
In my pocket
And I know its you
But I wish I didn't.
I wish I didn't know it was you.
I wish it wasn't you.
I wish I didn't know you.
I answer anyway.
"What?"
"Its me."
"I know."
I wish I didn't.
"I miss you."
"..."
"Im sorry."
"..."
"Are you there?"
"Yeah."
"You know I love you, right?"
I wish I could
"You know you mean the world to me."
I wish i didnt
"Please."
"...What do you want?"
"I want you to talk to me."
"..."
"We always talked it out before this."
I wish we hadn't.
"..."
"Fine. What do YOU want?"
"..."
"What do you want?"
"..."
"..."
"I want you to never come near me again."
I wish I had said it sooner.
"..."
"Okay".
I wish I had understood what that meant.
"Look up, then."
I wish I hadn't.
I wish you were stronger than that.
I wish you were stronger than us.
I wish that that building you were standing on wasn't so high.
I wish that I had been there to catch you.
I wish your body had stayed beautiful enough to have an open casket.
I wish.
...

But at the same time
When I look at the fading bruises on my arms
Shaped by your loving hands
I wish I didn't.
...

I wish I didn't wish for that.