Looking at life now, without you in it
I feel as if I will crumble
Simply because my firm foundation has disintegrated
It was you that made me who I am
But you’re gone now.
It’s so hard to believe and so hard to accept
That I’m never going to see your face light up the way it used to
The earth still revolves
Time still elapses
But I sit here and think: how could it?
How can everything just go on like normal, like before?
I’m still stuck there
In that exact moment I heard the news
I could feel the tears falling
but my mind just couldn’t comprehend the thought of you leaving
the thought of your body lying there but no normal breathing
The stories are lies of course, about god
If he was real, if he was with me
If he was the merciful person he is said to be
You would still be here
sitting beside me and showing me your beautiful pictures…
You loved to do that while you were here.
You loved capturing the world’s natural beauty while it was still alive and green.
The most positive man there could be
“Nothing is too bad because things will always work out in the end.”
I wonder if you still believe it
I remember you telling me that the last time I saw you
The smiles on our faces so vivid and real
That Christmas Eve before the unthinkable
I wonder if that night would have been any different if we had known what was to come
If only I could go back to that night
You wouldn’t have left
I wouldn’t let you leave and fall into death like that
I would have wrapped myself around your leg and never let go
But I can’t do that
I can sit here and hold the beautiful pictures
I can treasure them forever
But I can’t ever bring back the one that matters most
You.