Sinners Just the Same | Teen Ink

Sinners Just the Same MAG

July 22, 2013
By SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

someone once told me that
shooting stars are nothing more
than angels throwing
away their cigarettes before
god could catch them.
lambs for slaughter,
we're waiting for just another smoke-filled lobby
inhabited with sinners just the same
as you and me.

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This article has 35 comments.

on Aug. 6 2013 at 1:58 pm
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

Thank you! ^_^

on Aug. 6 2013 at 11:37 am
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

I disagree with OldYoungOne; I think that you only need a thought, no matter how incomplete, to spin off a poem from it. And this thought was SO FUNNY. I'd never quite pictured that before :D Awesome job, and congrats again on the Editor's Choice!

OldYoungOne said...
on Aug. 5 2013 at 10:08 am
I liked the poem I just only wish there was more substance that elaborated on the alomost incompleet thought. The ending falls flat. The beginning draws me in though.

on Aug. 4 2013 at 7:08 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

Wow. Such a short poem, but so much said inside it. I loved the beginning, but the ending was what got me. I was like "oh wow! Wait what?" Great job, this poem is a good conversation starter as well as something just to get you thinking. Loved it.

east_of_ada said...
on Aug. 2 2013 at 1:59 pm
east_of_ada, Null, Other
0 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As for me, I am a watercolor. I wash off." (via Anne Sexton,"For My Lover, Returning To His Wife")

"I think I made you up inside my head.'' (via Sylvia Plath, "Mad Girl's Love Song")

"You called it cosmic; I thought it was icy." (via Ada Coen)

aha, i really like this. I wrote something similar about lightening, but I dig most anything about celestial bodies and their relationship to our God(s).

on Jul. 31 2013 at 5:14 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

I like how you use the idea of good and bad together. I love the imagery and enjoy how it's short and sweet. Although you may want to put some capitals and some commas, periods, or semi-colons in your poem.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:13 pm
vegetariangirl, Hamilton, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Being normal is boring - Marilyn Monroe
You only live once -?
A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit -Richard Bach

This poem is amazing, i  love it.  But what i don't like is there are no capital letters, but you can easily fix that.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 11:43 am
sophistryxo SILVER, St. Louis, Missouri
5 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.”
-Jack Kerouac

Oh wowzers this is powerul. I love the imagery and anytime people can work angels into their poem I think it's a plus :) Great job!

on Jul. 30 2013 at 11:32 pm
RozaAlexander, Amory, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, & accepted by idiots.

This just proves the point that a poem doesnt have to be a page long to be great, in my opion its the short ones that a some of the best ones.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 6:23 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

D*mn, this is a marvelous poem. I love the imagery of the falling stars being the cigarettes of angels. the imagery is powerful. And the title is lovely. I love your style. 

on Jul. 27 2013 at 6:33 pm
CasimirPulaski SILVER, Columbia, Connecticut
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This has got a lot of OOMPH behind it, and i love the ideas in it! The imagery is delicate but backed by passion. My only suggestions would be to proffesionalize it with proper Caps and if thats not the effect you are going for, atleast the proper nouns such as God? Also i was wondering if the infreuent spacing was intentional or a formatting error? Either way i think it works, but if you are looking for publishing i might clean it up formatting wise! Also the last line "as you and me" could possibly be refined or changed, although i cant be sure. Personally i never love the last lines that i write so i always chop them off! Maybe consider ending it with sinners or something? maybe not :)

on Jul. 26 2013 at 11:18 am
write118118 SILVER, London, Other
8 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
'beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they will be dead by midnight' Og Mandino

Such wonderful imagery! I really enjoyed reading that- it was very thought provoking :D 

on Jul. 26 2013 at 9:03 am
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - "Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”

It is simple and effective, with great imagery and metaphors, makinge this piece very good. I'd like to point out the lack of capital letters, but I have been told before that not all poets do this; so it is your choice, but I do personally prefer to stick to the grammatical cliche.
The title is also appealing as it is unique and intriguing, well done :)

on Jul. 25 2013 at 11:05 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Sorry for the spelling errors. Stupid technology makes it so difficult to type.

on Jul. 25 2013 at 11:03 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

If the potential of this piece was in a bottle it would be so close to bursting!abgel throwing away their cigarettes, what a beautiful image you have conjured up. I feel like there are so many awe- inspiring and thought privoking ideas that could be taken from this piece but the wording and the format could be improved. You're putting these superlative images put there but around the beautiful parts you have plain wording. Try to make the whole poem give justice to the potential beauty it could hold. 'Anothwr smoke filled lobby!' ah, SO much potential!