The Only Way To Feel Alive | Teen Ink

The Only Way To Feel Alive

June 22, 2013
By Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
26 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Secrets are secrets for a reason, and some do not wish to see them uncovered. Especially when the secrets are particularly unseemly..."

I write because it’s my only voice.
My way to not be the quiet kid, sitting alone, longing to speak.
I write to shout, and scream my opinion in loose-leaf scribblings,
Raising riots in graphite uproars.
I write to be a voice for the voiceless, and a breath when I’m breathless.

I write to talk to the girl beside me, since lips quiver, and insecurity overtakes,
And the thought that my sweet nothings could hit home in her heartstrings
Is only more fuel for the literary bonfire.
I write to break barriers of conscious pretending.
I write because it’s unending.
Because it’s the only infinite,
And all pits have bottoms,
And all voids have edges,
But words worry little of such things.

I write to swim, and sink, and submerge, and drown.
To engulf myself in inferno’s, and waste away days in imagined forests.
To explore celestial cosmos’ and emotional oceans.
To be at peace with my mind’s Nature.

I write to stop breathing.
To rush blood to my head and feel euphoria’s left wanting.
To still shakes in shattered nerves, never at ease.
To please urges and mimic kingdoms.
To understand, just once, what it feels like to feel.

I write knowing it will never be perfect.
I write knowing I’m not perfect,
Wishing in desperation my words will somehow change
And take away all the loathing and hatred for myself,
Regardless of the voice pounding in my brain, chanting
“You can’t.”
I write because I can.

I write to turn teardrops to roses.
To morph scars to smiles.
To take away pain and replace with pleasure.
To fill holes in hearts and divides in the mind.
I write in the everlasting hope that somehow, some way,
It will make a difference,
If only in just one set of eyes.

I write because children are born and worlds are made when pen hits paper.
Because the story is never the same,
And galaxies are spawned from creative depths.
I write because of how savory a metaphor can taste,
Or how softly a subtle rhyme can caress heartstrings and tap synapses.
I write to synthesize and create,
Concocting new prose poultices at my alliterated alchemy station.

I write because people think big words sound smart.
Because eloquence impresses in the absence of knowledge,
And silver tongues can tether golden hearts and lock platinum bonds.
I write to drop bombs, and rebuild from Hiroshima craters,
And where the fallout ashens of radioactive ideas rain and settle,
New mutations birthed from the nuclear boom of thought will find their way to the page.

I write to dust off mental fossils, long since forgotten.
I write to dig shallow graves, and bury myself alive.
I write to incarcerate my fears and set aside my worries.
To become lost in valleys of thought and intrigue.
I write without knowing what to write,
And simply let my mind spill,
Spattering the page in drenched dreams my lips fear to say.

I write to reassure.
To see that even beauty can be birthed in something so broken.
To stare reflections dead in aching eyes, and paint smiles over frowns.
To not feel so down, and ascend on stenciled wings I’ve written in for myself.

But above all?

I write because if I don’t,
My veins ice over,
And my heart won’t beat.
My lungs will drain of air,
And my skin will drip away.
Without my words,
I become nothing,
And using them is my only way to survive.
So why do I write?
Because it’s my only way
To feel alive.

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This article has 9 comments.

on Jan. 23 2016 at 10:17 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

Oh my gosh, just... end me with your poetry. I love your writing style, and this reads so nicely. It kind of feels like every reason I write, too...

on Sep. 21 2014 at 2:24 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

Wow. I don' tknow what to say, except your poem is amazing. You really do have a talent and greatness in you; and I hope you believe that, because you do. It's absolutely, amazing and wonderful. Thank you so much, for sharing this. 

on Aug. 21 2014 at 1:06 pm
TheComet PLATINUM, Mostaganem, Other
22 articles 1 photo 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret" -Ambrose Bierce
" Be yourself! Everybody else is already taken ;)"
"Don't go where the path leads you. Go instead where there's no path and leave a trail ;)"-R.W.Emerson

I'm just SPEECHLESS O_O All I can say is that you are simply a great poet!! You have a unique talent and you certainly should keep writing. That way you'll keep feeling alive and we will keep getting inspired. You are right by the way, writing is in so many ways a wonderful way to let your voice be heard. Keep it up and nevr stop writing. Thank you so much for sharing this ^_^

on Feb. 20 2014 at 7:45 pm
MattMattHatter PLATINUM, Bellevue, Washington
33 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poetry is thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. "
Thomas Gray

Agh you should meet my friend Izzy you are both fabulous writers

TheUniverse said...
on Dec. 17 2013 at 10:04 pm
TheUniverse, Everywhere,, Other
0 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn't formed in a day, and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.

This is nice bro, real talent you have!

on Oct. 11 2013 at 11:28 am
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

Okay, don't think of me a stalker, but i read quite a few of your peons and review. Let me tell you, You got some real talent. Never stop exploring it :)

on Oct. 8 2013 at 7:55 pm
boundlesswildflower SILVER, Minneapolis, Minnesota
8 articles 1 photo 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." - faults in our stars by John Green

The deep thought and repetition is amazing!! I totally understood your feeling towards it. Love it :)

on Jul. 1 2013 at 6:28 pm
SongBird14 GOLD, Austin, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
It’s human nature to start taking things for granted again when danger isn’t banging loudly on the door.” – David Hackworth

this is alive, its alive in the way you wrote them and the way i now speak them as i read them. wonderful thoughs feelings and realitys. thank you for your words and truths

Sparxy said...
on Jul. 1 2013 at 4:22 am
You should most deinitely post this on deviantart and get more coverage and possibly more attention. Nice work my friend. ;]