am i the
only outsider
trying to come in?
do you see me
on
the
perimeter of happiness,
leaning on the edge of faith
trying to catch my piece
trying to be a part of love
like all the others?

i try so hard to be equal.
is it really worth it?
do i deserve this treatment of abandonment?
do i really deserve this stress
of having to worry
if i'm
looking my best,
acting my best,
being the best
just
to impress
the ones
on the inside
just
to show
the unknown faces
that i deserve to be known,
that i don't deserve to be alone?

is it really their judgement?

is it them that i should trust
to keep me in the act
and
not let it go
a bust?

or should i
keep the faith and
stay on the path of hope,
just to be alone?
just to grieve daily
on the death of my soul?

am i still
holding something
in?

will my heart ever again be whole?