Stumbling Eastward

There are some things
In this life, that we,
Must walk into blindly, and
Hope for the best.
Some things—most things
Cannot by taught in a classroom,
Written nicely in a manual,
Or outlined, even
By the most careful hands.

My parents once told me, that
Raising me
Was one of those things. That
There was no guide, and
To this day they still wonder
If they’ve screwed up somewhere
Along the way.
They tell me they
Still don’t know if they’ve
Done a good job.
But hey,
Neither do I, so…

So, we’ll spend lonely nights,
Wondering if
Things could have been better. If
They could somehow have
Taught me to,
Deal with heartbreaks, and
Inevitable loneliness,
Right after
Showing me to tie my shoes.
Taught me
How to get over the fact that
I was born to die, and
I will always be alone, no matter
How close I can get to another human being.
Right after teaching me
To ride my bicycle.

Sure, they’ll think they missed some
Golden opportunity to
Tell me about their first kiss,
Their last day of high school,
The last time they
Heard their own parents’ voices.
Think they missed some
Life lesson, which
I may forever be lost without.

But I tell them,
Or at least—I think of telling them
That there is no guide,
Because there is nothing yet to build.
No standard 2 by 4 design, so
Whatever results
From the memories they did share
Along the way,
From the lessons taught,
and remembered
Taught, and forgotten.
Will work out just fine.

With a,
Few scratches and
Bumps along the way,
I’ll get there.

They used to tell me
To look at the skies, used
To wake me at midnight,
To gaze at Haley’s comet.
Used to beg me
To keep my eyes trained eastward
Until the sun began to rise.

There are many things,
In this life
That we do with no guidance
That force us, to
Forge our own path, following
But the trail of Haley’s comet
And a few fingers
Vaguely pointed eastward.

And I try to tell them,
That there’s no way to
Do this all wrong, because
I’ve yet to see this world,
Yet to,
Build an expectation high enough
To beat them down with.
And so,
There’s no way to disappoint me, only

Infinite ways to show me your way, just
Hope you’re pointing
At least close to the right direction.

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