rainy day | Teen Ink

rainy day

March 10, 2013
By jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments

sometimes it rains and i can
barely see outside because the windows fog up
i like to watch the droplets
that form
slide down and collect
at the bottom
i like to write my name
in the wetness even though
it will disappear
but I'll know it is there



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This article has 4 comments.


SarahGrac3 said...
on Apr. 16 2013 at 7:12 pm
SarahGrac3, Rockford, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
This is great and I love how the subject is so relatable. If you change something I think it would be more interesting if you stuffed more adjectives in there or if you replaced some of the more common words with something a little more interesting. Keep writing you have great ideas!

on Apr. 5 2013 at 10:59 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

No problem! (: What can I say? You're a very talented writer.

on Apr. 5 2013 at 12:10 pm
jonpettigrew SILVER, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 12 comments
thank you, you're super encouraging lol

on Mar. 31 2013 at 10:53 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I loved this! I love the simplicity of the poem, and how a little can always say a LOT, like your poem did. I honestly can't critique on anything (it's well-written!), except that maybe you should stuff in a few more metaphors or similes here and there. Great job!!