He brought me to the county fair at age seventeen.
It was our favorite place to escape
From the strict bind of rules back at home.
He won me that cheaply made teddy bear
By proving his strength with a mallet.

I stood under the lights in my yellow sundress as
He got down on one knee
And proposed to me that night
With a twenty-five cent ring.
Oh how we loved one another.

The army called on a Monday.
My eighteen-year old love
Signed the papers on Tuesday,
Packed his duffle bag on Wednesday,
And took my heart away on Thursday.

I solemnly watched him get on that cold bus.
He waved and blew a kiss goodbye
Through the slightly cracked window.
His favorite smile of mine flashed on his face
For the last time.

The soldier had my heart,
But my body needed
The love, the warmth, the sexual
Of a man willing to go the distance
For my own selfish desires.

My neighbor did just the trick.
The tall, handsome, nineteen year old man
Gave me all I needed.
The sexual touch, the warmth.
But that teddy bear was on the nightstand.

My heart is at stake,
But my mind won’t stop.
I can’t imagine going on without him.
I guess my soldier will never know
What happens when he isn’t home.