Jesse | Teen Ink


June 29, 2012
By lil.awol ELITE, Independence, Missouri
lil.awol ELITE, Independence, Missouri
124 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"there's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light, and i'm frightened by those that don't see it" ~the avett brothers, head full of doubt

I remember you saying I sounded British when i say that Lily Allen song 5 o'clock
I remember making you tie my shoes every day
I remember you always locking my locker so I'd have to unlock it in between every class
I remember our icing war in which somehow you came out completely clean and I had to go home and shower
I remember you stealing my RedBox movie and me chasing you until you hid in the boy's bathroom
I remember stealing each other's notebooks and you drawing a picture in mine which showed you riding a giraffe and shooting me with a giant laser gun
I remember you holding my binder captive and you giving me a ransom note saying I had to meet your every demand to get it back, like getting you a quadricorn and a juice box
I remember you dragging your shoes across the carpet and then touching my ear giving me a massive static shock
I remember you calling me a b**** and me slapping you across the face
I remember giving you a hug and Ms. Kemp yelling at me for PDA
I remember your crazy stories and all the things you said you did to your brothers
I remember back in the play how you would put your icy hands on my back and make me hasp and you told me if I'd just stop reacting you'd stop doing it but I couldn't
I remember how you talked to me about what Josiah had told you and how you congratulated me on "the upgrade" of Devan
I remember you whispering my name in the hallway and then hiding so I thought I was crazy
I remember how I hated you at first because I thought you would hurt Lizzie, after all, we both knew you had a reputation
I remember how you slowly made me believe you were good for her, because I saw how you made her happy
I remember realizing you really did love Lizzie when I saw how you looked at her
I remember the time you went off in the play, the angry look in your eyes, and how I had to sit on the bathroom floor next to her to calm her down, and praying you would get control
I remember you thanking me for trying to reason with her when all she wanted to do was run away from you
I remember the way you both would pass each other in the halls, how you would seem to have a whole conversation without saying a word
I remember the time you kissed her on the head so gently it made me want to cry
I remember reading your notes and wanting to puke from the sweetness
I remember talking with her about the poems she wrote, each about you
I remember the day you told me about the diamond necklace you got her and then realizing you were serious about her
I remember talking her down when she freaked because you brought up children
I remember how you got hurt in basketball and she was so scared it worried me
Then there was the day everything changed
I can't say I remember the day before or every detail but it's still clear
I noticed you were both gone from Enrichment play practice but that was nothing new
And in the hours after you sat stone still and I thought you were just enraged
But I watched you and saw the look in your eyes and knew something was majorly wrong
I rushed out of class to find Lizzie and when we met and I asked what happened she told me with tear-filled eyes
I had only seen her cry twice before
Jessicah and I worried ourselves into stomach aches for all the days that followed
Asking Isaac and texting Lizzie when we could trying to get any information
Some time after that I tried to help Lizzie but I knew she was not okay and wouldn't be for a long time
When she finally came back to school I could feel the tension in her
She couldn't stand being there anymore
There was no point without you
But we still talked about you, reminding people that you existed
I saw you at the championship game and I had to do a double-take
Then Lexie and I watched as you hugged your brother afterwards and I had to hold back tears
Seeing you at the play I immediately hugged you, before I even thought about it, I am not a huggy person
And I still have a mini heart attack when I hear from you
And feel totally useless, trying to think of anything I can do to help
I do not know what will happen in the future
But between you and Lizzie, even if you don't end up together
I know it will never be over
Because I have seen few love the way you do for each other
I wish only good things for you
Because you are one in the small group of people that I really do love
Always remember: Everything happens for a reason

The author's comments:
sorry this is so long, it's hard to sum up an entire relationship. please rate and comment

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