Moments Before | Teen Ink

Moments Before

November 30, 2011
By dontforget GOLD, Cortland, New York
dontforget GOLD, Cortland, New York
15 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best things in life are left unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream."

Last one in class
First to take my breath away
Pulling out my homework,
I soon forget all I’ve rehearsed to say

They say where words fail
Music speaks
But my usual vibrato
Becomes raspy in your eyes

Those beautiful blue eyes
Not belonging
In such a hopeless place

I watch them
As they softly click closed
And fan open as majestic wings
Of a sorrowful butterfly

I turn my head quickly as you look up
And smile in slow motion
Tugging at my rugged jeans
I blush at my toes

Some monotonous voice beyond interrupts
With a mention of unimportant words
Something of conjugates and vectors
And such

Clearly not as intriguing as the moments before


Moments before…

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This article has 6 comments.

on Jan. 9 2012 at 3:04 pm
Goddess PLATINUM, Connellsville, Pennsylvania
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

not bad. the first part really brought back memories. but over all, u did a amazing job

FireIgnited said...
on Jan. 6 2012 at 4:54 pm
FireIgnited, Valley City, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 29 comments
I love the idea, but I think establishing a rhyme scheme would make it better. Besides that, great job :)

on Dec. 25 2011 at 3:07 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
I like the idea portrayed in this piece and i really like the first stanza. I don't know if you did it on purpose or not but it kind of set up for the rest of the poem to rhyme as well. We all know it doesn't have to but that would've helped with the rhythm in my opinion. Otherwise, great job.

on Dec. 12 2011 at 7:34 pm
Jumper008 SILVER, Exton, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments
You captured the mood really well! Great job! :)

Loftus GOLD said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 6:13 pm
Loftus GOLD, Ocoee, Florida
11 articles 1 photo 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go." -Dr. Seuss

This is pretty good(: My favorite stanza is about the person closing their eyes then having them reopen. Well done.

on Dec. 12 2011 at 4:44 pm
pill.happy.adventure PLATINUM, Manchester, New Hampshire
21 articles 3 photos 41 comments
very good :)