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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2194 comments.
ThinkGeek72 said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:40 pm
Very interesting and different! I loved it!
ImCoolerThanYou said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:33 pm
Very very well written. Great imagery and good details. You can see it in your mind.
ryanryanryan BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:30 pm
very well written, has good imagery, amazing flow
tdotcooley SILVER said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 9:39 am
Very well written and relates to many important realizations in life.
GingerLily BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 4:30 am
So amazing! This can relate to a lot of different situations, you've written it so well that people can view it in their own ways.
Blacknblue_kissez BRONZE said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 12:06 pm
This poem is filled with imagery, it's so vivid and beautiful. I can see a warm summers day, and a boy trying to prove his father wrong. I love this.
Phoenix. said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 4:18 am
Great poem i wish i could be as good as you are and congrats on the mag i hope you keep writing!
drew said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 10:59 am
+1 The message of the poem is really unclear....the resolution is the father binding you again? Just...weird =P
Labyrinth said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 2:36 pm
It is very good. And where do you get off saying it's "DREADFUL"??? I think you have no eye for poetry. V_V
AlexisNicole822 SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:58 pm
The flow was incredible, and I loved how it gives the reader different ways to view it. Mind blown(:
HisMinx said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:14 pm
this is amazing!
Jen_Vargas BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 4:09 pm
Hm... it was interesting... the ending was a bit confusing though...
BriannaSinger GOLD said...
on Jan. 26 2012 at 4:17 am
love it, great rhythm
schristensen said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 8:58 pm
great poem
hannah.maria GOLD said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 6:11 pm
great poem. i really like the theme, and the rhyming is clever and cute. phrasing could be improved, though. great work, keep it up!
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