Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2194 comments.


on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:40 pm
ryanryanryan BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
ghandi

This was exremely well written and had great imagery.

ThinkGeek72 said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:40 pm
ThinkGeek72, Waukesha, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Very interesting and different! I loved it!

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:35 pm
Alyssa897 BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
Great imagry and overall really well writen!

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:33 pm
ImCoolerThanYou, Waukesha, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Very very well written. Great imagery and good details. You can see it in your mind.

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:30 pm
ryanryanryan BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
ghandi

very well written, has good imagery, amazing flow

Slafyg BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 9:47 am
Slafyg BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
Nice imagery

on Feb. 6 2012 at 9:39 am
tdotcooley SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Gravity, is working against me and wants to bring me down"

Very well written and relates to many important realizations in life.

on Feb. 6 2012 at 4:30 am
GingerLily BRONZE, Aulnay-sur-Mauldre, Other
3 articles 6 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world" - Oscar Wilde

So amazing! This can relate to a lot of different situations, you've written it so well that people can view it in their own ways.

on Feb. 5 2012 at 12:06 pm
Blacknblue_kissez BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
This poem is filled with imagery, it's so vivid and beautiful. I can see a warm summers day, and a boy trying to prove his father wrong. I love this.

Luna557 SILVER said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 11:03 pm
Luna557 SILVER, Wheaton, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
for springtime is lovetime and viva sweet love -e.e.cummings

This made me smile.

Phoenix. said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 4:18 am
Phoenix., Pittsfield, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 93 comments
Great poem i wish i could be as good as you are and congrats on the mag i hope you keep writing!

drew said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 10:59 am
+1 The message of the poem is really unclear....the resolution is the father binding you again? Just...weird =P

Labyrinth said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 2:36 pm
It is very good. And where do you get off saying it's "DREADFUL"??? I think you have no eye for poetry. V_V

on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:58 pm
AlexisNicole822 SILVER, Elyria, Ohio
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Robert Pattinson: “If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads"

The flow was incredible, and I loved how it gives the reader different ways to view it. Mind blown(:

HisMinx said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:14 pm
HisMinx, Eugene, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this is amazing!

on Jan. 29 2012 at 4:09 pm
Jen_Vargas BRONZE, COVERT, Michigan
1 article 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When the Power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."~Jimi Hendrix

Hm... it was interesting... the ending was a bit confusing though...

asofnow GOLD said...
on Jan. 26 2012 at 12:14 pm
asofnow GOLD, Troy, Michigan
18 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing gold can stay ~ Robert Frost

Because it is very good, the context is well written and the rhythm is smooth. How did your comment get published? :O

on Jan. 26 2012 at 4:17 am
BriannaSinger GOLD, Sacramento, California
18 articles 1 photo 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My karma ran over my dogma" -bumper sticker

love it, great rhythm

schristensen said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 8:58 pm
schristensen, Coden, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
be you not your neighbor

great poem

on Jan. 24 2012 at 6:11 pm
hannah.maria GOLD, La Jolla, California
10 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not live on the edge, I merely visit it from time to time."

great poem. i really like the theme, and the rhyming is clever and cute. phrasing could be improved, though. great work, keep it up!