What if the world were different,

if I were different?

What if I could look at myself,

and think I actually look ok,

maybe even pretty,

instead of noting my flawed skin,

the bags under my eyes,

how overweight I am.

But am I really?

What if I could see the world,

through tinted lenses,

with kaleidoscope vision?

What if I could see the silver lining?

That the cups half full?

Instead of the rain,

or the water leaving a cup  still half-empty?

What if I could be confident?

Not care what others thought?

Instead of hiding myself,

hating myself?

What if I could sleep well,

without waking up early,

to exercise so I don't stay so fat,

or staying up late to cry in the silence?

What if I could live stress-free?

Be normal, talk to people?
What if I could be happy?

What if I could see a cliff,

and proudly think "I got past that,"

instead of the sadness,

the overwhelming thoughts,

telling me that it could be over quickly.