The colors blur making my head twirl

Just a girl balancing right on the edge of a new time

Wanting to be a silvery shining pearl 

In the whirling sea

Options swirl around endlessly

Everything around me moves at warp speed

Images fly by with greed

For my attention

I try to heed the warnings

But no matter how I plead

They 

Keep 

Coming

Hitting me until/ I bleed

And all I want is for it to stop

Because I know that technically/ I am freed

Allowed to choose whatever path

I think I need

But in reality

I can’t see

The darkness is/ blinding

The path keeps winding/ away from me

How can I decide and manage to be

Someone great

Someone who leads

The rest 

Paving the way cutting through the weeds

Excellent

Determined

Perfect

Yet inside turmoil leaving me all but wrecked

My mind focused on not falling prey

To that steep, downward fall

That fall from grace

That fall that consumes all the space in my thoughts

Leaving me sprawled in fear

It’s 

just 

one 

decision

One small call

That could make me stand tall

Or could leave me broken and bawling

I’m anxious to leave home 

To let my wings spread beneath me

Weaving through the sky the wind carrying me cleaving the very air to part around me

But also petrified frozen with doubt

So scared of choosing the wrong route

The one that kicks me out of the nest into a freefall with no

Place 

to

land

Is that the hand/ that I was dealt?

To 

become 

burnt 

out

To become someone who no matter how much they planned

The world laughed and banned them from accomplishing their dreams

The future spirals around, a great abyss

And I’d hate to miss out on whatever is within 

The potential for bliss to overtake me 

As the next great step in my journey begins

I’d be so remiss if I accepted 

Mediocrity

Allowing people around to

Dismiss me 

To become just/ one of the pack

And I know that even if I fall/ flat on my back

I won’t let myself be destroyed

My heart whispers to me that I can avoid

That steep, downward fall

And even if I do collapse

I won’t let myself be trapped

With everyone propping me up

I’ll adapt

And tear off all the straps 

holding me caged

I’ll make myself rise up enraged

And resist any twists 

Thrown my way

I won’t let myself be slayed

I’m 

here

to 

stay

I don’t need to convince myself I’ll be alright

My future is bright