I can feel it,

That unease, 

That stress,

That fear of something breaking,

Or of something going wrong,

Or of that one thing that may shatter the perfect glass I have worked so hard to maintain.

It is still there,

Bubbling and simmering.

I am afraid it will never go away,

Never leave me.

I feel it build up inside.

It swells, 

It grows,

Folding me in,

Enveloping me as if I was just so small.

Calm down,

Calm down,

But I don’t know how to.

I want to scream,

I want to shout,

And punch through these enclosing walls,

Break free of this prison,

A prison of my own design.

But yet again I don't know how.

I am panicking now,

My heart is racing so fast soon I won't be able to keep up,

And I'm slowly forgetting how to breathe.

In and Out.

In and Out.

I hate this,

This vulnerable place,

A place from which I am unable to escape.

I search and I search and I search,

For a key,

A door,

Anything that will let me out,

Anything that will end this madness I have been drawn into. 

But the door is locked,

The keys don’t fit,

And the walls are closing in. 

I back against the walls,

Hands splayed at my sides,

The wall against my fingertips warm in the sun.

My breaths come ragged,

My vision blurred.

In and out.

In and out.

A hand takes mine,

Fingers intertwined with my own,

Breathe.

Breathe.

A soft voice whispers in my ears.

And the world comes rushing back to me,

My vision aligning,

My heart slowing,

And I try to breathe.