I'd like to thank my church, for the hate that you've instilled in me
I'd like to thank my parents, for refusing marriage therapy
I'd like to thank fake research, for the anger you gave society
I'd like the thank the arguments, for always giving their two cents

Thank you to my mom, who could never stay calm
Thank you to my dad, the one who's always mad
Thank you to my mother, who thinks cracker is a slur
Thank you to my father, who always agrees with her
Thank you to my mommy, who hit me so hard I couldn't see
Thank you to my daddy, who would never side with me

Thank you, bless you, everyone
I'll see you all in therapy when the day is done