do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

it’s an endless loop of beautiful days and horrible nights 

horrible days

and beautiful nights 

or sometimes it’s all horrible.

most of the time it’s all horrible 

do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

never feeling good enough 

always feeling like a second choice 

nobody checks on me

nobody tells me they’re proud of me

nobody asks me how i am 

do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

feeling alone 

in a room full of people 

and in the room full of people 

i cant even be normal 

i feel that tingle in the tips of my fingers 

and the flutter in my stomach 

the beginning of choking on my own air 

do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

being told i’m not good enough,

told i’m not talented enough,

not pretty enough,

not skinny enough,

not valuable 

 being told i’m nothing 

and believing it.

do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

craving validation from anyone i can find 

just being told i’m good enough 

or that you’re proud 

or that i am pretty 

and valuable 

is enough for me 

do you know what it’s like in my mind? 

you don’t 

and that’s why i envy you.