Everything is wrong

My head is on loose

It is barely balanced

And I can’t just fix this with a song.

Nothing is right

And I hold tight to past hopes

Past lives

I can’t seem to find my way back to.

In the dark

I scramble and reach and claw

Praying to breech the surface of the water-

Crying out to the nothingness

Can anyone hear me?

No.

Not an aspect of it all is easy

The trudgings of my days succumbs me

I used to be able to find a way back

But the walls are moving and changing as we speak

My eyelids are heavy and I am weak

Without a hope to cling to.

I hear we all feel the same

How can this be?

They all seem much more in tact than me.

Their smiles genuine and full of dreams

For the future that for them so closely gleams

My future must be broken

It doesn’t gleam or shine or give me hope and

It scares me.

Evil lurks in my dreams

And tempts me every time I close my eyes

The hope of a simple, painless way

Out of the violently moving currents and streams

Of expectations, self made and by others

And every day smothers any hope of peace

Peace

So closely out of reach

It dances and flits just above my fingertips

It plays with me

Taunts me

With its endless chirping quips

I lie awake and get no rest

Knowing everything is wrong

I'm failing life's contest.