Water Lies | Teen Ink

Water Lies

September 7, 2021
By WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
WolvesRain DIAMOND, Walton, Kentucky
72 articles 0 photos 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." Virginia Wolf


Walls so many walls,

Caving in,

Their caving in.

Tight squeeze,

Hard to breathe.

Shallow water,

Begins it's rise,

Rise oh rise,

Sink oh sink.

I'm drowning deep,

Deep below,

Oh deep below.

No more life,

In these eyes,

Drowning in the lies. 


The author's comments:

This poem talks about how when your anxieties get the best of you, you may feel that it's drowning you even when it's small. 


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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 10 at 9:27 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
179 articles 22 photos 969 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)
And the words I say most often: "Where was I?"

I want to cry but maybe thats just because i edit to much. SERIOUSLY: commas exist for a reason! grammatically
'Walls so many walls' should either be 'Walls, so many walls' or maybe 'Walls- so many walls' thats the first example. also you used their when you meant they're. do i edit to much? or not enough?
generally the laws of grammar dont apply with poetry, but you cant entirly disregard them or it reads awkward and clumsy.
still no word from my english teacher on poetry careers.
beautiful poem tho. if i were able to unsee the grammatical errors this would be perfect.

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Sep. 10 at 8:01 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
103 articles 31 photos 800 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some say.
I say
It just begins to live
That day."
--Emily Dickenson

I wrote a poem a lot like this. It's simply called "Wall." Yours is more concise tho.