I use to dream of growing up

Being blonde

Having tons of friends

And being happy.

But then when I did, I wanted to go back

To the dancing

And the smiles

The excitement of the tooth fairy coming after you lost a tooth.

I couldn’t go back.

I was trapped in this colorless cruel world of growing up,

I wish I could go back

When I didn’t dye my hair just so I couldn’t recognize myself

When I didn’t turn my phone on do not disturb each night

When my smile was real and not a forged one

When it was my baby teeth falling out and not my hair

I wish I could still see the world the same as before 

I used to dream of growing up

And now, I wish I never did.