I hate thigh gaps!

Not just because i don’t have them; because I want them

No one ever believes me when i tell them i feel ugly.

The one time that i ate too much and tried to throw it all up;

I felt guilt and hatred for my body.

I hate how people make me feel when they look at me.

When they look at the stretch marks;

The time that i dare to wear a tank top to school.

Watching diet commercials and the fitness channel.

Praying to god they would work.

Standing in the middle of my living room in a sports bra and leggings.

Something I would never even think of wearing in public.

It’s a sin for girls like me to parade around in bikinis.

Because maybe the red marks from my too tight jeans make you want to vomit.

I hate this body that I feel trapped in.

I could change if i really tried but the only thing that seemed to help

Was sobbing in my bedroom surrounded by seventeen and cosmo cover models.

Something I’d always want to be,

But have it taken away at my next doctor’s visit.