you swallowed me up--

slowly, but surely,

you gained my trust

and then tore me apart

i want it back

shaky hands grip the ends of my hair

bleached, dyed, made mine,

held together with the thread

sewn into my smile

keep me up

bags and hats and things that will one day

shrivel and turn to dust--

identical,

everything that held meaning to me

let it just be mine

ones i love, things i love--

the yellows,

my possessions,

stolen, why

could nothing ever be enough

two trips around the sun

and all that i made was gone--

yours, it always had to be

for you

but you never wanted me

a piece of myself still lives in you

the one that gave you acceptance

and a shoulder to rest

it’s something i cannot get back

it isn't mine anymore

even my words

the only part left that holds

my sound, my voice,

my nothing-- not mine

it’s your everything

you needed everything.