I lie down in my bed and I feel safe.

Than I close my eyes and feel dark.

But the fear is always the same.

Than I close my eyes and everything goes black

I’m trapped.

I can’t breath.

I’m screaming as loud as I can but nobody can hear me.

I’m slowly drowning but no one can notice.

No one can hear or see this darkness taking me.

I don't want to stay.

But I can’t leave.

They won’t let me.

The voices tell me to stay in the darkness.

I try and fight it.

But the darkness is strong.

And the fear never changes.

Breathing heavily.. wondering if I will ever get to leave.

If I ever will get too feel happiness.

Or love.

Or any emotion at all…

I'm having trouble with colors.

They don't like me.

I try to smile but It doesn't ever feel right.

I don't know if i like it.
Wait I need to like it.

That's what they say right?

The doctors tell me to be happy.

But how can I be happy when there is nothing to be happy about.

I don't think my parents will be so happy with me.

I can't tell them, not again they will be so mad.

Happy happy happy.

I need to be happy.

The pill make me happy for only so long.

They don't work that well though.

Does everyone have to take these?

Help.

Mom takes me too Mr.Cook.

Mr.Cook is my friend, thats what mom said at least.

Mr.Cook was my friend though.

He talked to me like a person.

Mr.cook was a different doctor.

He talked to me and gave me donuts.

All we did was talk and it was so much better than pills.

Mr.Cook was my friend and he helped me.

I told Mr.Cook that the colors don't like me.

He said they only dont like me because I don't let the dark go.

I need to let the dark go.

Mr.cook saw the darkness taking me.

Finally someone can see.

Finally…

I let go.

A breath of fresh air strike my lungs.

No more darkness...just bright colors.

The colors finally let me in.

Everything is colorful now.

I can finally breathe again.

The fresh crisp air feel so new in my lungs.

Darkness is not my friend.

Darkness took everything from me.

I now smile with my mom and laugh with my dad.

I love them.

I can finally feel love.

I live in a new body.

Except now something changed  

I overcame this fear.

The darkness.

The in close spaces.

At last...

It was finally over.