Taelor with an ‘e’

My full name is Taelor Marie. Taelor with an ‘e’ is what I always tell people when they ask me what my name is. Usually you spell my name T-a-y-l-o-r, with a “y”, but my mom knew her offspring, me, was and is different. Originally, my mom wanted to name me Tiana, but my dad had something else in mind. Growing up, I would always think “wow my name is kinda boring, kinda plain” but I’ve grown to love it because of how orginal the spelling is. At my job, In-N-Out, people always ask how to pronounce my name or compliment the spelling. Which is very much appreciated but the sound of my name has been bothering me lately. Whenever I hear my name, I think of the emotions disappointment, sadness, emptiness, etc..

The reason I feel that way is because I feel like an outcast all the time. I am a very spiritual person. I see the world differently because of my awakening. My name, Taelor is the name of my physical body form and ego but not my soul.

My parents had a mutual agreement on my name. My father was in the Marines and his good friend Taylor died in war. My dad chose my name for those reasons but my mom chose the spelling.

When I found out how I got my name, I thought of myself being like a lion. Fearless because of my dad’s friend that died in war. Someone very strong and bold and would do anything to protect it’s own. Which is true because I’m very territorial of what’s mine and I’ll fight to the death to protect the people I love.

I wouldn’t change my name because it’s unique spelling. For now on I’m going to just think of myself and my name as fearless.