I am a zombie.
I wander around aimlessly, without a purpose.
I have no purpose and therefore no happiness.
I crave that one thing that will make me happy, but I know not what it is or where to find it.
I search everywhere, not caring about whether or not I live.
I carelessly roam, always running into some sort of trouble.
Trouble usually brings pain.
Pain is caused by something wrong with my body.
If there's something wrong with my body, I must be unhealthy.
If I'm unhealthy, I'm likely to die.
I'm a zombie, yet I don't eat brains.
I'm a zombie, yet I feel pain.
I'm a zombie, yet I think.
I'm a zombie, yet I have emotion.
I'm not a regular zombie.
In fact, I'm just like you.
I'm not undead or decaying.
I'm a normal teenager.
I wander through school, not knowing what I want to do with my life, or if life even has a purpose.
If I don't have purpose, then why do I try?
If I don't have purpose, what will make me happy?
I look for something, anything; sports, games, clubs, yet nothing works.
I try rebelling to find happiness, not caring about the consequences.
I don't have anything to lose, so I find trouble to break the monotony.
I soon realize that trouble makes me feel like I've done something wrong.
That I beat myself up over the tiniest of things, causing mental, and sometimes physical, pain.
If I'm in pain is there something wrong with me?
What's wrong with me?
Am I unhealthy?
Am I overweight?
I'll eat less to solve the problem.
Only, eating less doesn't work.
It makes me more unhealthy.
It makes me feel like I've messed up more.
I create physical pain to drown out the mental pain, bringing me ever closer to death each time.
I'm depressed, so instead of brains, I take pills.
I'm depressed, so I use that pain to stop the constant feeling of nothing.
I'm depressed, so I overthink every little thing I do, and beat myself up for anything that was "not good enough."
I'm depressed, so I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of nothing and everything simultaneously.
I'm not a regular depressed person.
I act just like you.
I don't fit all of the stereotypes or stigmas.
I may not look it, but I need help, too.
My depression turned me into a zombie.