Next Time | Teen Ink

Next Time

April 24, 2023
By Anna_Grace GOLD, New Paltz, New York
Anna_Grace GOLD, New Paltz, New York
16 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I heard the news, I heard the prayers, I heard the whispers in the hall

You sung the blues, signed that final paper, and off a cliff you walked

A star in the sky, a periwinkle one in millions, smiling down at those left,

One among the five, brought down by opinion, they claimed it cardiac arrest

Perhaps in life we’re all just unwelcome guests.


And I didn’t even know you, didn’t even show you 

All the lives you changed, all the days you made,

What is there to tell, besides that you’ve done well,

We never even spoke, to me you are a ghost

To them you were the world.


Next hurt, next hope, next heart, next home

Next time will it be someone whose music helped me grow?

Next time will I sob when I hear a C#6 note?

Next time will I mourn both the name and the soul?

Next, where are you going? Where did you go?


Next blood, next bet, next break, next breath

Next time, will it be a familiar face that dives without a net?

Next time, will it be another little girl in a grown up’s dress?

Next time, will it even be enough to try to do our best?

After next time, will anyone be left?


I walked that road, I walked that way, I walked until my heels snapped

You went alone, gave in to pain, I miss like hell that unique laugh

A solar eclipse, a deep aqua glow, a dandelion buried in the dirt,

A final wish, a heavy snow can’t wash away this hurt

Perhaps that would only make it worse


And I didn’t even know you, didn’t even show you 

All the lives you changed, all the days you made,

What is there to tell, besides that you’ve done well,

We never even spoke, to me you are a ghost

To them you were the world.


Next way, next week, next win, next war

There’s no winning when perfection is what you’re fighting for, 

There’s no way back when we’re trapped in the time of the dinosaurs 

There’s no more of our pages to fill when they’re constantly torn

There’s just a peachy keen memory that breaks me to my core.


Next fall, next faint, next find, next fate

There’s only empty shoes left on the ballet stage 

There’s our blue night stories in this blue flame 

There is still a sign in this rainy day 

They sullied your name, we loved you too late


I played the songs, I played the tracks, I played that voice in my dreams

You thought it wrong, you can’t come back, so why did you leave?

A crescent wanes, a spring breeze coming, will change fly on the air?

A whisper fades, trapped in the bubbles, are you listening from out there?

Perhaps we can make them care.


And, no, I don’t even know you, I don’t even show you 

All the lives you change, all the days you make,

Perhaps you can’t tell, but I promise you’ve done well,

We’ve never even spoke, but Annyeonghi Gaseyo,*

Because to us you are the world.


Next love, next life, next laugh, next lie

Left to wonder, left to blunder my way through the midnight

Left to miss, left to wish I could ask for one more clever rhyme

Left with pieces that a genius couldn’t glue into a dime 

All you say is Miyane*, but all we ask is no goodbye.


Next turn, next try, next time, next talk

I left my violet heart to the beautiful goblins you left lost

They left camellias on the steps on their evening walk

You left the hands 12:18 on that gloomy clock

What’s left? Only the word Gamsahamnida.*


*Annyeonghi Gaseyo (Goodbye; literally, “go in peace”)

Miyane (I’m sorry)

Gamsahamnida (Thank you)


The author's comments:

This piece was inspired by the death of Moon Bin, a k-pop idol, who took his own life on April 19th, 2023, two days before I started writing this poem. There are four other k-pop idols who have also taken their own lives (Kim Jonghyun, Choi Jinri "Sulli", Goo Hara, and Seo Minwoo), and so this poem is both offering comfort for anyone who feels grief for someone that they do not know and begging for a change in the k-pop industry as a whole. If you have time, I encourage the readers to learn about this idols for themselves:

Jonghyun: d. 12 / 18 /2017 (27); Y Si Fuera Ella.

Sulli: d. 10 / 14 / 2019 (25); Goblin.

Hara: d. 11 / 24 / 2019 (28); Midnight Queen.

Moonbin: d. 4 / 19 / 2023 (25); Ear Candy

Minwoo: d. 3 / 8 / 2018 (33); Better Day


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