I watch the autumn leaves glow

In the soft streams of sunlight
Like thousands of fireflies
All blazing with light
Like fire,
As if each leaf
holds its own star.

I play the piano.
Each note is like taking off
another second of my life.
Tick tock.
Tick,
tock.
Sometimes my fingers falter.

I listen for the sound
when hearts break
like icicles under gravity’s spell.
It is the sound of my choir’s four part harmony
When everyone goes off key
For just a moment
And then it’s over.

I embrace my friends.
My adversaries.
I want to remember the way
Their hearts beat like a plummeting bird’s wings.
It’s like a tattoo on my entire body
One that I’ll never regret getting.
For how else will I remember that beat, once it stops.

I gaze at a simple form of destruction
Winding its way down the match
Consuming the light with light itself.
Blurred blackness is left.
The heat burns closer with each breath to my
Sober skin in the night,
The scent of stinging smoke lies thick. 

I listen to the rain.
And jump when thunder cracks.
The sound keeps going
Until only a hum remains.
A hum that consumes me,
And makes me numb.
The rain stops, the hum does not.