This poem is based on a dream I've had. With the exception of the visuals due to my aphantasia, I can remember it near perfectly. I was faced with my imminent deat, but I find it interesting how peaceful I felt. I rejected the fatal illness I was diagnosed with and chose to kill myself. I missed out on all the lively joys of the people around me. I had to say goodbye to my mother and confront how little I've seen her. Despite it all, I found respite in my faith. After the fifth day of the dream, I had an epiphany regarding my beliefs, and I drifted to sleep with a bliss I haven't felt since I was a child. I died putting the burden of what was in that world a crime on my family, and yet I still found the joy that they were by my side.

I told the people who were with me on Friday in the dream about it on a Friday night. We were driving out into the countryside to go camping. The air was thick with that late-night surreal quality. Something about it held the same peace as I had in my dream.