s u n d a y

‘m Sick- as in coughing

I’m convincing them

heat up,   and out, from my lungs

as it mixes with unwilling salvia   

forced away in another struggle 

this one with myself

but they are still restlessly wrestling

with me

Home

I want to go home 

‘m feeling weak.. 

The offer of all the money in the world couldn’t persuade my legs- 

my very heart and soul to stand up 

   not for even a half of a known second

struggling

I guess

   It's become not really much of a fight 

All because could be called sick

  more of the mind

   more of the grossly negligent brain space 

My head is always the way it is

  was never taught the proper term for it 

   the spaz    in me 

water pours

falling against hot cheeks 

feeling colder than them, working to get to the bottom

and drip down 

escape 

I shed a few tears 

 ... and a lot more internal upset 

  I'm losing it all

  the fight against and in me

I very much don’t like (!)

I messed up by mentioning (!!)

  ... sharing too much,

  Getting Caught 

Regrettable

...

   ... I’m starting to feel myself get messy 

Once more 

again