Mom, I’m Gay | Teen Ink

Mom, I’m Gay MAG

By Anonymous

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

Similar Articles


This article has 196 comments.

on Jul. 21 2011 at 12:57 pm
itlovedtohappen GOLD, Ocala, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 32 comments
I think admitting you are gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender is a very courageous thing to do. It's a hard thing to do, especially with all of the discrimination and intolerance even in these modern times. I believe in gay rights and that while Christianity views homosexuality as wrong, God loves us all anyways and He will accept us. I'm not gay, but the judgement that people face isn't right. I have family members who are gay or lesbian and I love them anyways. I don't think people should have to hide and I am so proud of you. :) I'm sure you've inspired a lot of people, not only for gays to come out of the closet but for people to be honest to themselves about other issues.

on Jul. 21 2011 at 8:13 am
CookeysAndCream SILVER, Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania
6 articles 2 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."-Augusten Burroughs

Wow! You're so brave! And I'm glad it all turned out alright. :)

hallie523 said...
on Jul. 20 2011 at 4:15 pm
hallie523, Seattle, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 16 comments
How can there be right and wrong? It's just how they feel, who they are attracted to. They can't help it and they shouldn't try too.

kitkatt2136 said...
on Jul. 11 2011 at 1:16 pm

I'm glad this was written because it shows the strained relationship between mother and daughter. All mother-daughter relationships are like this in same way, regardless of the daughter's sexual orientation. Thank you for writing this and showing people like me that we are not the only ones who struggle with our mothers. I hope you and your mother have worked out your problems.

Side note: This is not the place to be bashing homosexuality. This is not a hate board-this is place to place constructive and encouraging comments. If you have something bad to say, journal about it. Don't make the rest of us endure your idiocy.

Sythan BRONZE said...
on Jul. 7 2011 at 12:28 am
Sythan BRONZE, Livermore, California
1 article 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not fear to blister if you live a life in flame"

I feel so sorry for you, pick up a science book about Homosexuality and read it.

Akz13 SILVER said...
on Jul. 6 2011 at 6:55 pm
Akz13 SILVER, Phoenix, Other
9 articles 1 photo 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is but an adventure, the more you seek, the more surprises you find."

let people be who they are. homosexuals are born the same as as "straight" people. they were not hatched... people are born that way! love them for who they are... love all of god's creations.

dont even be bothered by people who are no thappy with their lives that they have t criticise things beyond changing!

on Jul. 3 2011 at 2:21 am
Arluanna PLATINUM, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
31 articles 2 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Mwahahahahaha! Now you are mine, Lesley-Bird, finally, at last, in my... oh, drat, forgot it had wings...”

-Phil, the youngest Kalins Uzin

That and the fact that writing is a way to release tension. I wrote a poem once (and published it anonymously) that told about a very hard time in my life. I decided to publish it because I wanted others to be able to draw courage from my experiences, and to know there's hope. I don't know if she wrote her story for the same reason, but I can definately relate.

Very well done. Congratulations on speaking up; your bravery is to be commended.


and if you want to see the article I spoke of, go here:

on Jul. 3 2011 at 12:31 am
HanleyGrace GOLD, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."
-Dr. Seuss

perfectly stated!

on Jul. 2 2011 at 7:15 pm
qwertyqwerty123 PLATINUM, Concord, California
28 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"prey on the old and your a coward
prey on the young and your pathetic
prey on the weak and your even weaker
prey on my friends and your history"
- fearless: payback (book 6) by francine pascal

look, hart. im sick of your comments on this! you are totally posting your views on homosexuality, and this is not a place to do that. this is a place to give feedback to the writer on their writing. it's not an opinion article. just leave the topic alone because you are just acting like a jerk, not providing constructive criticism.

on Jul. 1 2011 at 8:48 pm
Alright. Rhi is not a place to have arguments about whether or not you like homosexuality or hate it or think God does or does nor like homosexuals or what you have it. This website is a place for people to express themselves to others. These comments are an opportunity to give writers constructive criticism, ways to improve their art, and compliments. Let's keep these comments serving the purpose they were created for.

on Jul. 1 2011 at 12:01 am
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates

good for you! i hope things between you and ur mother are still going well

on Jun. 29 2011 at 4:04 pm
I believe that people should be able to love who they want. People are people, we were made to love.  As long as there is love and happiness then the haters can go to ****! I'm not gay, but I have been best friends with a girl for 12 years. She is no different than anyone else. She just prefers girls. Good luck, and I hope you keep up the writing. :)

on Jun. 29 2011 at 3:04 pm
ashleyX13 PLATINUM, Memphis, Tennessee
32 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've made mistakes; not one regret." Alyssa Nicolson

Wow, that is amazing what you did. I really respect you for the bravery and the fact that you published it. That is really great, I'm glad everything worked out.

seamuxfinny said...
on Jun. 29 2011 at 2:43 pm
seamuxfinny, Victoria, Minnesota
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

Wow, that was amazing. It was good that you came out, and I completely understand what it's like as I recently came out as bi to my mom.

on Jun. 29 2011 at 11:50 am
SaritaFajita BRONZE, Arlington, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
- In your anger do not sin.
Psalm 4:4

- "Love the life you live, live the life you love." -bob marley.

I admire your work and your bravery for putting it out there and being proud of yourself. You should NEVER be ashamed of who you are. Your mother still loves you no matter what and I hope things work out for  you! I wish it wasnt written annonomously though, because I would have LOVED to read your other work!

on Jun. 29 2011 at 11:28 am
GravityMcFalls GOLD, Katy, Texas
10 articles 7 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The Patriot's blood is Freedom's seed." ~Thomas Campbell.

Wow! I admire your confidences, courage, and easiness in that situation! I'm not gay, or bi, but I respect their lifestyle choices and treat them nicely like I try to do to other people. And I have HIGH respect for YOU! You rule! : )

Celia PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 29 2011 at 9:33 am
Celia PLATINUM, London, Other
41 articles 5 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching" - Unknown

I admire your courage and confidence. I hope things continue to get better with your mom. this was very well-written too! :)

on Jun. 29 2011 at 7:57 am
ChelseyChelsey SILVER, Morristown, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live.
-Charles Bukowski

They've promised us that dreams can come true but forget to mention nightmares are dreams too - Oscar Wilde

I'm happy for you for coming out alot of my friends (girls) are gay too. I'm glad you were confident enough to come out. Good luck in life and God Bless You :)

Sunrise BRONZE said...
on Jun. 29 2011 at 6:46 am
Sunrise BRONZE, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you can not change something change your attitude.

Awesome article. Very well written. I have been back and forth on wanting to tell my dad that I am bisexual. I know it is serif for a chick, but my bestfriend is a Guy and he say I should tell him that he of all people would understand seeing as his bestfriend is a lesbian. Ether way Jessie is always there for me. What would the world do without best friends.

Sunrise BRONZE said...
on Jun. 29 2011 at 6:32 am
Sunrise BRONZE, Ocean Springs, Mississippi
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you can not change something change your attitude.

Y'all are just doing the same thing you are saying they're doing. But they are really just supporting the person the article is about. By using the Bible verse they is saying we should not judge the LBGT community. We really shoudn't judge anyone. The bible says for whoseever keepth the whole law and yet ofened in on point he is guilty of all.Thus we are all guilty of homosexuality . Well, I am bisexual already but still, the whole straight community is guilty.