Wings Chapter One | Teen Ink

Wings Chapter One

November 24, 2009
By Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the heck you did it.

Chapter 1~
Blaire Hudson walked down a concrete path in New York City’s Central Park, huddling into her thick sweatshirt for warmth. An icy wind cut straight through the dense material and chilled her to the bone. The wind whipped her hair around her face, constantly forcing her to take her hands from the warmth of her pockets to clear it away from her eyes. She looked around her.

The moon was full and cast a silvery light on everything in sight. The trees were winter-bare, and the fall’s withered brittle leaves whispered across the ground. No snow had fallen yet, but it was bitterly cold. The sky was a cloudless black, full of little pinpricks of starlight. The grass was frosted and frail, looking paler than everything else.

Blaire kept her eyes on the wide path in front of her. She was the only one in the park that night. Her sneakers scuffed the sidewalk, and she walked alone, feeling like the only person in the world.

She kept walking, eyes half closed, staring at the sidewalk in front of her.

Suddenly, Blaire froze. What was that?

There it was again. Footsteps. Was someone following her? She whirled around…and saw nothing. Everything was quiet.

What was that? Blaire thought to herself. Why would someone be following me?

She took a deep breath of the cold city air, feeling the chill burn her throat, and started walking again, just the same as before. Except that she had an idea. Blaire walked another few feet, then abruptly stopped. She listened.

Blaire heard it again. That one odd footstep that was not her own. She tried this method a few more times, and each time she stopped, she heard the footfalls of that strange someone, the person who was following her.

She stopped one last time, and whirled around. She saw nothing. Nobody. Thinking she had been imagining it, she resumed her slow, aimless walk.

Blaire saw something that grabbed her attention from the sidewalk. A huge, ancient oak tree stood in the grass a short distance away. It was old and its trunk divided into four giant branches, leaving a large dip in the middle. Many times in the warmer seasons children would play at the old oak, sitting in the hollow or playing with the acorns that fell from it. Not knowing why, Blaire walked towards it. She knew the way to climb to the hollow like the back of her hand, which was strange, because she wasn’t good at climbing trees at all. She reached the hollow and sat down. The large branches offered some protection from the wind, but not much. She shifted around a bit.


Standing below her, leaning against the trunk of the tree, was a boy. He looked about fifteen. His hair was dark brown and hung in his eyes. His skin was pale. He had dark gray eyes, black jeans, and a black t-shirt on. He looked like he was prepared for a burglary.

Blaire jumped at the sound of his voice and looked down. She was startled to see him staring up at her as if he knew her.

“Who are you?” she asked, suspicious of this strange, black-clad person.

He smiled. “You know me, Blaire.”

The boy had a slight accent. It sounded European.

Blaire stared down at him. “No. I don’t.” she said. “What do you want?”

The kid laughed. He actually laughed! “If you think about it, you will find that you know that too.”

Blaire took a deep breath, and blew it out angrily. “No. I don’t know anything about you. Or what you want.” This kid was acting all cocky and arrogant to her, and she wasn’t going to put up with it.

The boy looked disappointed. “Alright. But if you really want to know why I came, it was to tell you this. Big things are starting to happen, Blaire, things you don’t know about.” His eyes glittered. “You’re going to find out soon enough though, and it’s going to change your life.”

Blaire stared down at him, a little apprehensive now, and still retaining her prickly demeanor. “Are you threatening me?”

“No, “ said the boy. “I’m giving you a warning. Be careful.”

Blaire rolled her eyes. This guy was obviously on something. “Whatever. Just go away.” She tried to climb off the tree, and slipped. She let out a yelp and felt the boys arms steady her. “No touching.” She said firmly. She caught a glimpse of something black and shiny on his back. A backpack? she thought. Good for keeping stolen goods.

Without thinking, she blurted, “What’s in that backpack on your back?”

The boy looked puzzled. “I’m not wearing a backpack.”

“Yeah, but just now, as I was getting up, it looked like it. You had something black and shiny on your back.” Blaire was unsure of this boy. He seemed very strange.

He thought for a minute, then his face lit up. “Oh! You mean these!” he turned completely around, and Blaire gasped and braced herself against the trunk of the giant oak. She couldn’t believe her eyes. The boy had wings. Standing right in front of her, was some kind of…of…what? What was he?

“Wha?” Blaire whispered uncomprehendingly. She was in shock. These things couldn’t happen in real life.

“Yep. These are what you call wings. They make you fly and stuff. You know, like a bird?” he turned around, and flapped the wings once; making some leaves skitter across the ground.

“But…How did it happen? People don’t fly. People don’t have wings!” Blaire squeaked. She dug her fingernails into the rough bark.

He gave her another one of those secretive grins.” You’ll find out. Soon enough.” The boy stretched out those impossible, beautiful wings. He started running towards open space, away from the extensive oak branches. Blaire realized he was leaving and took off after him.

“Wait!” she yelled after him. “Wait! Don’t go! I still don’t understand anything!”

He jumped. High. Higher than a normal person could ever hope to jump. He beat his wings powerfully, propelling him upwards and forwards. He heard her yelling and looked down at her.

“Don’t worry!” he called in his strange, accented voice. “You’ll find everything out soon enough!”

And then he was gone. The only proof that he had ever been there was a single glossy black feather spiraling slowly towards the earth.

The author's comments:
This is a story i started over the summer, modeled after a dream I had. This is the first story I've put out in the world, so please dont be afraid to criticize. I would actually like you to be picky. Please rate and comment this as it is important that i get some feedback. Thanks~

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This article has 26 comments.

on Sep. 4 2011 at 9:20 am
WednesdayWrites BRONZE, Yarmouth Port, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are not amused." --Queen Victoria

Nice work. I got caught up in the mood and mystery of this piece right from the beginning. I really liked your use of the seemingly disembodied footsteps before Blaire finally say the boy with wings. Blaire reacted realistically to the boy's warnings--good job on that. I want to know more!

on Feb. 18 2011 at 2:26 pm
Raven_Mi BRONZE,
1 article 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S.- Keep. It. Simple. Stupid

i totally lved 'hush, hush'

now that u mention it the do hav similarities but i think this 1 is a bit better. 

(it was written by becca fitzpatric)

Dayne22 SILVER said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 8:57 pm
Dayne22 SILVER, Las Cruces, New Mexico
6 articles 31 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication"- Leonardo DaVinci "Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are" -Markus Zusak "I'm just trying to be me... Whoever that is" Unknown

This kinda reminds me of "Going Bovine" by Libba Bray and a little like "Hush Hush" by....uh idk but i really liked both of those books and i like this one too :D

on Oct. 26 2010 at 8:03 am
elfen_girl BRONZE, Wilmslow, Other
3 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S - Keep it simple stupid


that was amazing i totally loved it although the way she reacted to the guys wings was a bit chilled,

i mean if i saw a guy with real wings i totally freak, but other then that it was totally cool with an amazing storyline and plot.

on Oct. 9 2010 at 7:18 am
tomtamtimmy GOLD, Sydney, Other
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have

wow this is really good. keep writing.

on Aug. 4 2010 at 2:19 am
Future_author SILVER, Baltimore, Maryland
9 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some secrets can hurt, but sometimes they keep you safe, but all secrets are found out sooner or later.

I love this. This is a great story. This your first? Wow it's to good for that to be true. Write more soon.

on Jun. 21 2010 at 3:22 pm
V.T.Summers BRONZE, Longview, Washington
1 article 16 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Things rarely turn out as expected.

really good but in the beginning you say "she" and "her" too much

on Apr. 2 2010 at 10:37 am
well, it just reminded me of it, lol, didn't actually copy it! so good job... :D again.

on Apr. 1 2010 at 10:13 pm
Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the heck you did it.

Yeah i noticed alot of people tell me that. I actually read the books to make sure i didnt copy anything without knowing. : D

amachii GOLD said...
on Mar. 25 2010 at 6:07 pm
amachii GOLD, Schenectady, New York
11 articles 0 photos 205 comments

Favorite Quote:
"ganbaranakutemo ee nende!" (It's okay even if you didn't do your best!) -Smileage/Tsunku

Nicely done! as i posted before, it's alot like maximum ride, but only with the wings. very cool storyline, and very well-writen! :) i'm impressed!

amachii GOLD said...
on Mar. 25 2010 at 6:05 pm
amachii GOLD, Schenectady, New York
11 articles 0 photos 205 comments

Favorite Quote:
"ganbaranakutemo ee nende!" (It's okay even if you didn't do your best!) -Smileage/Tsunku

i was just about to say the same thing! :) i LOVED maximum ride.

on Feb. 11 2010 at 7:51 pm
Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the heck you did it.

Hey everyone! chapter two is up, its shorter though. And chapter three is on tis way out. Im just waiting for approval. thanks for evrything! =D

on Feb. 9 2010 at 11:12 am
hey, really cool! reminds me of Maximum Ride. good job! altho the punctuation could be fixed some...

on Dec. 29 2009 at 2:05 pm
Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the heck you did it.

Thak you everyone for commenting! i was super surprised at all the feedback! ill make sure to try and make it better with all your opinions weighing in. :D

im nervous about these next few chapters....they slow down a bit, just to warn you. give some background.. please keep up your great feed! im so happy you guys like it! and say anything that comes to mind! thank you so much!

~~ Fireflie

on Dec. 29 2009 at 10:55 am
bluestar500 BRONZE, Perkasie, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 9 comments
o_O wowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This sorta reminds me of a manga I once read, +Anima, but so much better! I really reallllly hope you write more! It's amazing! Your ending left me completely breathless, waiting for more...a feeling I haven't had in a while, from the latest books that've been published. You definately have great potential!

evie428 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 27 2009 at 6:33 pm
evie428 BRONZE, Ontario, Other
4 articles 1 photo 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing a novel is not merely going on a shopping expedition across the border to an unreal land: it is hours and years spent in the factories, the streets, the cathedrals of the imagination."

This is great! Please continue!

on Dec. 27 2009 at 3:01 pm
littlewriter97, Dover, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
I LOVED IT!!!!!! plzzz make it into a story!!!

on Dec. 26 2009 at 10:51 pm
fall_from_grace SILVER, Lakeside, Arizona
6 articles 6 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
(yes, I do note the irony in quoting this)

I really enjoyed your descriptions in the beginning. The way you spoke of the grass and night made if feel dark and wonderful. I take issue, however, with what we see of your winged boy. He feels a bit cliched and underdeveloped, although this may be because the exert is so short. I hope you give him a bit more complexity as you continue. Please keep writing, you have a lot of talent.

Inkling BRONZE said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 4:40 pm
Inkling BRONZE, Cape Coral, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments
This was very good. A great first story. I agree with DEMON in that you should put more description in the story but find a balance. For example you said "Suddenly, Blaire froze." For a better sentence, you could have said "Blaire froze." or "Her head snapped up." Since that sentence is the transition between a normal evening walk a a major change in Blaire's life, it should be more attention grabbing by being short and to the point to contrast with the description before and after it. Whew! Well, that's my two cents if you want it! Great job overall. Keep up the good work! ^_^

DEMON said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 4:13 pm
A dream inspired your writing? How odd. The imagination ought to sing of its fantastical ideas, yet I did like "Wings." I find that you ought to be more descriptive and in tune to feelings, but the dialogue and ideas were good. Rave or rant about realistic love in...


Wisps of smoke danced into the wintry air from my lips, creating ornate designs that could never be replicated. I carefully tilted the corners of my lips into a smile that I meant to be wry. Of course, it's difficult to articulate emotions that I can't feel, but I find that irony is relatively simple to demonstrate. I inhaled the toxic vapors of the cigarette casually. Its sinister, black cancer couldn't cripple a seventeen-year-old boy with no lungs, let alone a heart.

I glanced in the direction of the horizon, and flinched. The sun was dying flamboyantly, casting its radiant colors across the sky. Its last waves of light caressed my cold, pale skin. I wanted to snarl rebelliously as I felt its warmth slide against me deviously.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

My muscles went rigid, and I had to focus madly on controlling my shaking hands. I would know that voice, that beautiful, disastrous voice, in the realms beyond that of Earth. I grated my teeth, reeling in the disturbing sensations that she unknowingly always aroused in me.

I cocked my body towards her arrogantly, and lifted my mouth into a crooked crescent moon. I felt my eyes flashing, but I worked vehemently to fixate an arctic, hard tone into the dark of my indigo irises.

“I find the sunset lifeless and meaningless, actually,” I countered flatly, and a beat too late.

She laughed merrily, and I struggled within myself as my mind and body became entranced by the beautiful movement of her laughter as the colors of the sun played about her.

“You amuse me, Darian. How can you have such a pessimistic view of the world? The sun will not be lifeless until it disappears beneath the horizon, and the night falls. It’ll rise tomorrow, though,” she said.

I dared not think of her name. I hated the way my soul-if I had a soul-thrilled when her voice lingered over my name. It reminded me of music. I had to close my mind defiantly as I thought of music. I wanted nothing that resembled passion.

“That’s an inane notion that foolish women entertain. You want poetry, and ridiculous vows of forever. You aren’t difficult to read. If you want that sunset to mean something, then you want unrequited love. It doesn’t work like that,” I growled unmercifully, angry at her for unleashing the flood of feelings upon me.