I can't do this anymore I've been waiting day and night for weeks, just waiting for that perfect moment to ask him if he likes me, I just can't do it, every time he sees me he smiles that perfect smile with his faded blue eyes and his dirty blonde hair, sure he's not perfect but to me he's my world and I'm scared he'll reject me, I'm scared he'll walk away like all the other jerks did, I'm scared that my whole world will fall if he says no and then I'll be back to myself, the same old Lillian Glenn with blond hair and icy blue eyes who's five foot four and reads too much. I just can't let myself sit here and do nothing can I? In the midst of my thoughts I hear my phone ring, I pick it up expecting to hear Abby's familiar voice on the other end but instead I hear a male voice and I almost shriek into the phone "Hello?" I ask trying to contain my excitement.

"Hello is this Lillian?"
"In the flesh," I said suddenly regretting my stupid answer.

He laughed into the phone "ok well I was just calling to ask when I can come over to work on our science project,"

I sighed of course my day dream was too good to be true "Um how about tomorrow, does that work?" I ask looking at my science book to see the project.

"No I have a date with Mattie tomorrow how about Saturday?" I cringed I had forgot that he was dating popular Mattie Ross with flowing brown hair with blonde streaks and chocolate brown eyes that could melt any guy she laid eyes on.
"Yeah sure Saturday works how about two?"

"okay that works for me see you Saturday," he said hanging up. I fell onto my bed wishing I was pretty and popular and that I was dating Dillon Carson, Captain of the football team and the cutest guy alive. After five minutes of self pity the phone rang again but this time I wasn't astonished when I heard Dillon's voice he usually calls twice when we have a project
"Hey Lillian your super smart right?" He asked without a hello.
"Yeah I guess why?"

"Um what does I don't think this relationship is working out means?"
I sucked down the excitement bubbling inside of me and answered " It means she's either seeing other people or she wants to break up with you"

"Oh okay thanks" he said hanging up. I squealed in delight the guy I have a huge crush on is single! I quickly called Abby and told her the news and we both squealed into the phone like a twelve year old.

The next day I could barely contain myself I was humming around the house like a five year old and singing A thousand years through all my chores. I got dirty looks from my younger brother as I was humming while doing the laundry
"you strange" he said in his three year old voice.

I winked at him and gave him a big grin "I'm die hard happy," I said walking up the stairs carelessly. I left him stranded downstairs trying to figure out what happened with his sixteen year old sister. When I got upstairs I dropped my laundry and dashed to my bed, my phone was gone, there was a note that took its place, it read "dear, Lillian if you want your phone back meet me at the lake at sundown, Dillon." I covered my mouth in disbelief why me? why would he like a plain faced girl who has a passion for history? I questioned sitting on my bed, before I could question myself further I looked out my window and saw Abby downstairs obviously agitated because her phone was clenched tight to her chest. I dashed down the stairs to meet Abby, When I reached the front door it was wide open I ran up to Abby and hugged her wondering what was the matter, before I could ask she spoke "Dillon died" she said at a low whisper. I clutched at my throat waiting for her to laugh and say she was joking but she was only quiet waiting for my reaction I sat down in the hall and sobbed I was supposed to meet him tonight, who killed him? why? "Mattie killed him, she was overcome with jealousy when she heard about you and Dillon meeting tonight," said Abby as though she could read by thoughts I only sobbed harder my crush died at my enemy's feet, I was only happy that he didn't die in her arms. That night I snuck out to the lake wondering what would have happened if he hadn't been killed would he have kissed me? asked me out? my questions drifted out to sea, I stayed there all night thinking of him, only to feel the grief that the morning brought because he was gone and would never return.