One Moment | Teen Ink

One Moment

June 27, 2011
By ScubaDiver GOLD, Billingham, Other
ScubaDiver GOLD, Billingham, Other
13 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
When Life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show life you have a thousand reasons to smile
Work Like you dont need the money love like you've never been hurt dance like theres no one in the room
You have enemies, good, that means you've fought for


One moment can change everything. It can change your life forever. I never understood this. I thought that there would always be enough time to do what I wanted to do. Nothing much can happen in a moment.

I was wrong.

I guess it started a month ago, when I moved to England. It was a dull, rainy day and I was just another stranger in the crowd to everyone else. Everyone, apart from him.

He seemed to know me the moment he set eyes on me. Well, that's what he told me anyway. I never really believed him.

I was completely lost in the busy streets of London.I stumbled along the street and tried to find the address scribbled on a scrap of paper. I was already late and I wasn't looking where I was going. I walked straight into him as he yelled for a taxi.

He laughed as he saw how shocked I was. I started to mumble an apology and pick my bags up off the floor.

"Hey, it's okay. No harm done. You look pretty lost, you need any help?" I then looked at his face for the first time. That was the first moment that changed me.

I was amazed at how beautiful he was. It was the way his eyes were looking at me, as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world, as if he genuinly cared.

"Um.. yeah, do you know where this is? I've just moved here and apparently it's somewhere around here..." I bit my lip.

"That's a few blocks east from here. I'm going near it, we can share a cab, if that's okay with you?" He smiled a crooked smile. How could I refuse?

As I was getting out of the taxi, he grabbed my arm. I span round to look at him.

"Would you like to go for a drink with me later?" He looked really nervous.

"Sure, I'm Grace, by the way." I smiled at him. I'd only been in England a few hours and I'd already got a date.

"I'm Greg. I'll pick you up about seven?" I nodded and walked up to the block of flats.

I began to fall in love with Greg. He was sweet and sexy and he loved me back. That month was the happiest I'd ever been. I should have known that it wouldn't last forever.

Greg out his arm around me as we walked out of the cinema. I elaned into him and inhaled his earthy smell. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and led me to the car.

I giggled as he whispered something in my ear. I can't remember what it was. I just know that he whispered something to me. It was something that I just remember.

Just as we got to the car, I heard a shout and almost jumped out of my skin.

"Give me your purse." I felt the barrel of the gun press into my back. I was shaking too hard to do anything. "Now! Give it to me!" The man was starting to get angy. I handed over my bag. I was now facing him. He was still pointing the gun at me.

"And you. Give me your money." He turned to point it at greg who was a few metres away from me. My heart started beating faster.

"Okay. Here." I saw him hand over his wallet. I was praying for him to leave us alone. I just wanted to hold Greg. I wanted to get him out of here. I wanted to get him to safety.

The man with the gun started to back away. He looked unsure about what he was doing.

The next moment seemed to go in slow motion. I saw the man grip his gun tighter as he pointed it at me. Greg saw too and jumped infront of me as he pulled the trigger. I started to scream. The moment had passed. The guy ran.

I cried as Greg lay bleeding in my arms. I sdaw him mouth the words "I love you" as the last glimpse of life left his eyes.

One moment can change everything. It can change your life forever. I never understood this. I thought there would alwyas be enought time to do what I wanted to do. A lot can happen in one moment.



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This article has 3 comments.


on May. 5 2012 at 7:04 pm
sithsadist BRONZE, Everson, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.
- C. S. Lewis

Overall, your piece is really well done and in the places where you go into detail, detail is given in an effective way. You also have really great ideas and a nice structure, which is tough part to get right and 
I commend you for that.

However, my critique is that you don't go into enough detail to make the reader care about the people in the story. If we had seen more interactions between Greg and Grace, his death would have meant more.

Maybe expanding and adding more events so that we have a chance to get to know Greg before he dies would help make his death more powerful as well. All we really know about him from the story is that he has honest eyes and a crooked smile.


on Apr. 30 2012 at 1:16 pm
ScubaDiver GOLD, Billingham, Other
13 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
When Life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show life you have a thousand reasons to smile
Work Like you dont need the money love like you've never been hurt dance like theres no one in the room
You have enemies, good, that means you've fought for

Thanks!             

on Apr. 30 2012 at 1:06 pm
FluteFreak SILVER, Auburn, Indiana
8 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Insanity just adds a little spice to life!" -Me

Wow... this is amazing, although I think you could make it better if you expanded Grace's and Greg's relationship more, but that's the only critque i can think of. 5 stars definitely!