1. When I was 5 I was afraid of the dark, so Dad spent 8 hours gluing a 115-piece glow in the dark solar system to my bedroom ceiling. I was no longer afraid to sleep alone. Incidentally, I willed myself to stay awake, admiring 106 perfect stars and 9 gorgeous planets for hours before my squirming toes were finally lulled to sleep by the sheer beauty of my solar system.

2. By the time I turned 6, Oliver (named for Nana’s cat), Blue (named for my favorite berry) and Toby (named for my sister’s stuffed pig)—3 brave stars—had taken one for the team. I watched in horror one night as their delicate bodies each peeled slowly off my ceiling and plummeted to death—Toby even smacked me on the forehead on his way down. In their place remained three globs of Mighty Putty. I finally knew what heartbroken felt like. Dad offered to pull out the old ladder and stick ‘em right back up. But Dad said humans don’t get second chances, so why should stars?

3. At 7 I got used to a slightly smaller solar system with the loss of Becky, Arthur, his sister DW, Bubbles, Rufus, Penny, Dora, Ronnie, Poppy, Toad, Max, Lulu, Ernie, Bert, Kermit, Ms. Piggy, Joey, Tinky-Winky, and Po. I convinced myself that lousy stars weren’t worth crying over. Planets were the real deal anyway.

4. At age 8 I mourned the casualty of my first planet—Sophie. She was one of my rocks. Now there was merely chipped paint and bits of dried putty in the back left corner of my ceiling.

5. By 9 I learned that even GlowStar’s Extreme Ultra Glow in the Dark Stars don’t shine forever. My solar system began to dull—and I was pissed. The package had promised me 10 years of guaranteed luminosity. Where was my Extreme Ultra?

6. When I was 10 there were only 42 stars and 6 planets left in my solar system.

7. By 11 my astronomical anxieties subsided.  I was in middle school now. I had real problems to lose sleep over.

8. At 12 I lost Millie’s planet and pretended not to care.

9. At 13 it was Chloe and Alex.

10. At 14 Dad.

11. At 15 all my planets were gone but this time I was too empty to care.

12. At 16 my solar system consisted mostly of sticky globs of Mighty Putty. I spent my nights gawking at 4 tenacious stars.

13. I’m 17 now and Dad tells me I should really clean the gunk off my ceiling. He’s right. The stars will just keep falling anyway.