It would be graduation day. The last day of School. The last day I get to see you, ever.
I watch quietly as you shake hands with old friends, give hugs, and have good laughs. You seem so happy, so ready to be free; so you. You grin largely, from ear to ear, pleased with your accomplishment of making it through high school, and excited to move on to the next big thing; PSEO-ing your senior year at Normandale College, away from our little High School.
I watch quietly, excited for you, and yet greatly disheartened at your evident departure. The pain and longing that I feel in my heart could not be described as anything else but heartbreak. After you've exchanged a various amount of goodbyes and farewells, you turn in my direction, smiling as your eyes meet mine.
My head perks up, a rosy blush slowly fills my cheeks and paints tips of my ears red. I desperately try to pretend that I've just been excitedly moving about, so that I could pass off the blush as simply overexcitement. You make your way through the crowd; slowly weaving through, your arm outstretched toward me.
Hesitantly, I extend my own, taking yours and, after a moment, shaking it heartily.

"Congratulations" I say, smiling as I try to stabilize my voice. "You're ready for college, huh?"

"Yeah!" You say breathily, as if you've reached the peak of a high mountain, "It's....amazing."

"I'll bet" I say, still smiling "You totally deserve to be PSEO-ing, what not with that brilliant brain of yours."

"Aw.." You say, your cheeks reddening a little. "I just...did stuff."

You look me in the eye. To stare into your own is exceptionally hard, I'll have you know. The sheer blueness is enough to make a girl weak in the knees. But, surprisingly enough, I manage.

"I'm gonna miss you.." You say after several moments of silence.

Taken slightly aback, I respond [stupidly] with "What? No you won't!"

"No, seriously." You said, grinning slightly "I will."

All the heartbreak, all the longing, all the pain, all the affection and passion, and the ominous feeling of abandonment that I had been feeling that past 4 years spilled out from the depths of my heart. I rush forward and hug you tightly, clinging on to your shirt. The tears fall openly from my eyes as I sob quietly into the safety of your hesitant embrace.

I remember you didn't freak out, you didn't push me away, you didn't get mad...just after a few moments of adjusting to the shock of the sudden hug attack, you just put your arms around me in silence and held me as I wept. You hushed and whispered comforting words into my ear as I shivered. You were just as kind and understanding as I remembered you to be. It was that kindness and understanding that I fell in love with.

"I...I'm sorry" I said, sniffling, still clinging on to your shirt. "I just...I couldn't hold it in anymore."

"It's okay" was all you said. My heart was beating a million miles a minute.

"I just...I don't.." I stammered for words to express my feelings "I...I've always loved you."

Silence. You didn't say anything, nor did you move. You continued hugging me though, so I kept going.

"I..I've always loved you." I said hesitantly, "Since middle school, when we first became friends. Your weird jokes and quirky sayings...it was all stuff I fell in love with."

I could feel your lips turn upwards into a small grin as you remembered just as I. Now you understood why I loved reminiscing when you were around. It was the only why I could express my fondness of you without fully revealing it.

"At first...I thought that you were just the big brother that I never had.." I hiccupped, slowly gaining more control of the words that left my mouth. "But I soon learned that it was more than that. Every time I would see you...my heart would skip a beat, and I was anxious to talk to you, anxious to strike up a conversation...and just hear your voice.

"I tried texting you on several occasions, but stopped because I felt like I was bothering you. When I got to high school, I was so excited because I could finally see you again. Every day I stayed alert, watching for you to maybe come around the corner, or maybe even pass by my classroom window. Just a sign that you were around, and that I was closer to you.

"But...that was also when I learned about your girlfriend." I pull back, still sniffling and despising my current emotional state. "Don't get me wrong, I think she's awesome. I don't hate her or anything. I just...hate the relationship that you have. I'm envious. She is so lucky to have someone with your own heart as her other half. And honestly? I'm happy to see you so happy. But.." I sniffle some more, another tear slowly sliding down my cheek.

"But now you're going away," My throat tightened at the thought, my fingers clenched as I tried to hide my face, "It's gonna be like middle school again....but I'm never ever going to get to see you for forever. I...I don't know how long I can last without your smile and your kindness...without seeing you.

"I can't stand the thought of you leaving...of being without you. I won't be able to see you walk around the corner anymore, I won't be able to joke with you in Chinese...I just.." I started sobbing once more. "The one person who means the most to me is walking out of my life for what's most likely to be forever, and I have no power at all to stop them.

"Heh..I must sound so selfish." I say, hiccupping and crying like an infant without it's mother. You just stood there. I didn't dare look at your face, but I can imagine you being in a silent shock and surprise as all the words I had let loose sunk in. I expected to look up and see someone disgusted, or a look of rejection...but I just had to know.

As I calm, I slowly look up. I'm sure I must look like a hot mess, my face blotchy and red, my eyes swollen and puffy. Not anything attractive, that's for sure. Instead of anything I expect, you're smiling, and, if I'm not mistaken, your sharp, blue eyes are a little teary.

"Now," You say, wiping the imaginary tear and chuckling good-heartedly. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

My mouth drops, and I sniffle some more.

"What, you knew!?" I squeaked, turning even more red. Any redder and I could be classified as a tomato. "Wha-whu..wh...How!?"

Pulling me closer into another tight hug, you say gently "It wasn't all that hard to figure out."

My face is burns with embarrassment. I should have known I was being too obvious.

"You always smiled around me, you always helped me out willingly. You had so much patience with me." You continued softly, slightly distant "You had the most wonderful heart of anyone I've ever met.


"And truth be told? I loved you back. With every ounce of my heart, I cared for you, watched over you, made sure you were okay. You were the one I had to protect and care for. I loved you back."

"...but what about your girlfriend?" I asked softly

"I love her too, with a different kind of love. Much similar to your love." You stepped back and put your hands on my shoulders. "But I will always love you. Our paths will cross again, don't you worry."

And with that, you hugged me once more, kissed my cheek, and stepped out of my life for the next 10 years.