Hello, my name is Lona Wolf. I come from the Eternal Forest. I came here to share the real story, since Miss Little Red Riding Hood had to lie to all of you nice people. May I start by saying how twisted that “little girl” really is.

One day, I noticed a girl walking and I had never seen her before. I was talking to Regina Rabbit when I first saw her and after that conversation I didn’t see Regina for several weeks. After Regina was announced missing by the police they did nothing to find her and then some of my other friends and neighbors started to disappear. This got me suspicious. Did this stranger have something to do with these disappearances? I mean we never have had anything like this happen in the Eternal Forest.

In order to find out more information I went undercover as a “gangster”. I walked down the street toward her favorite hangout. I was wearing my black and white striped suit with my black fedora; I was also smoking a Cuban cigar. MAN! Was that cigar NASTY!!!, but I needed to do anything to find out what was going on in these woods.

I walked up to her. She was outside her usual hangout. It was outside Wilbur’s barber shop on the corner of Main Street and Lucky Ave. She introduced herself as Red. I didn’t get why her parents named her Red, so I assumed it was a nickname. She asked me for $5.00 an hour. I didn’t understand what she was talking about, but then she said, “Don’t worry I work well with wood.” Oh so she is a carpenter!

I said, “I have good wine back at my place, want to come over for a drink?” Red told me that she had an appointment soon. So I went as fast as I could to get back to my house for a chat and a drink with my suspect.
When we got there I pulled out two wine glasses and poured us some of my finest wine. She quietly replied, “No thanks. I don’t drink before I work. Sorry, but I don’t always trust my clients with my drinks.” Red is probably one of the strangest carpenters I know and her voice sounds very seductive.

Red asked me where I wanted the job done. I told her that I wanted to chat first and Red seemed a little annoyed, but she talked.

I asked her, “So, how did you get the name Red?”

“That is for me to know and for you to find out.”

“What do you know about the disappearances of all those poor woodland creatures lately?” I asked her a bit more reluctantly.

“I know nothing! Can’t you tell that I am new here?!”

“Well if you are new here then how do you know everyone in town already?”
“I’M LEAVING!”
Red left and I didn’t see her again for three days. Over those three days I thought over our conversation and tried to think of why she acted that way. Why was she so resistant? Was it because she was new or was it because she was hiding something?

When Red returned I followed her around. I saw her going to another job and one thing I found weird was that she carried her tools in a woven basket. She doesn’t even have a truck like most carpenters do.

One time I saw her go to this old lady’s house I assumed it was her grandmother’s house. She went into the house and didn’t come out for a couple hours, and when she did come out she was wearing a hooded red cape and she was laughing. Her laugh sounded like the laugh of an evil clown.
I didn’t go up to her and she didn’t try to find me. I would hide from her in the shadows, in bushes, in trees; basically I hid anywhere she couldn’t find me.

Whenever she went somewhere with anybody I never saw that person again. I wanted to question her again, and I knew the police don’t deal with this stuff those cops just sit around hiding from paper work and the chief. I’m also hiding from the chief because if he finds out that I am doing unauthorized work he will have my head!

I knew that if I questioned Red she would never tell me anything. I wanted to get my hands on her basket, because if she wouldn’t tell me anything maybe her basket would.

Eventually, I went back to her hangout in my gangster outfit. She seemed annoyed again just by my presence, but she asked, “Uggh. What can I do for you?” I didn’t know how to reply. She asked again in a more aggressive tone. This time I said “Come with me.” Red followed right after me.

We got to my house and she said, “Show me your bedroom.” I didn’t know why she wanted to see my room, but I brought her to my room. It was neat and tidy as usual. I mean can you blame me I live alone and when my friends come over I want them to know that I care about my home.

“Get on your bed!” Red seemed even angrier than I have ever heard her. She also sounded like she was being rushed. So I sat on my bed and she calmed herself down then she said, “Lay down please.” I laid back and she jumped on my legs. I sat up and she punched me down. Then she tied my wrists to my head board. These knots were really tight! What was she an army veteran?!
All of a sudden the old woman walked into my room. Her perfume was an over-whelming smell of lilacs, she had too much make-up on, she didn’t have denchers, but she did have a limp with her left leg, and she was wearing bloomers and a light purple dress that looked like it was from the 1950s as if it was worn by a house wife.

The old woman handed Red her woven basket and in a raspy voice, as if she were a long time smoker, said, “You left this down stairs.” Red replied, “Thanks Grandma.” I was right, it is her Grandma!

Her grandmother came up to me and pulled out a revolver. Red said, “Wait! Grandma I have to do something first.”

“Do you have to do this every time?!” Her grandma shouted back at her.

“She deserves it!” Red shouted back.
Red turned to me and asked me, “Do you want to know why they really call me Red?” I replied, “YES!” I was willing to do anything to stall what I knew my fate was going to be.
“They call me Red because of all the blood splatter! HA! HA! HA!”


I didn’t know how to respond, my jaw just dropped and the grandma walked up to me and put the revolver to my head.