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September 26, 2009
By LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
90% of my happiness is coming from my pants.

Alright, alright, sorry, inside joke. Okay how about: "If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day; if you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -Terry Pratchett.

[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]

RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.

NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.

ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.

LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:

ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.

RYAN: Not even a gay baby!

LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!

ELLY: Gay babies are our future.

NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!

LAURA: That's not actually true.

RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.

NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)

[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]

ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?

LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?

[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

The author's comments:
A two-min-or-less screenplay. Feel free to use, just credit me as the author in the credits, and let me know if you intend to film it!

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This article has 68 comments.

on May. 21 2011 at 10:41 am
Fangstorm_The_Vampire GOLD, Tehachapi, California
15 articles 1 photo 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's a bird!
It's a midget!
NO. it's...... EDWARD ELRIC.

totally random, if a bit cruel. lol

on May. 13 2011 at 9:24 am
Vacilator BRONZE, Merritt Island, Florida
4 articles 2 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
No cup of tea is large enough, or book long enough, to suit me.
-C.S. Lewis

Totally random and totally awesome  = )

on May. 13 2011 at 9:16 am
Vacilator BRONZE, Merritt Island, Florida
4 articles 2 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
No cup of tea is large enough, or book long enough, to suit me.
-C.S. Lewis

I love your sick sense of humor!  It's awesome!!

on Mar. 28 2011 at 8:17 pm
kkayla3897 BRONZE, Ogden, Utah
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
eh. stick to your movie cut-downs. I liked the Twilight one better.

on Mar. 17 2011 at 4:12 pm
Hannayye BRONZE, Trophy Club, Texas
4 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5

Hey, chill your roll. It's no big deal.

MetallixRose said...
on Feb. 25 2011 at 1:43 pm
First off, this WAS NOT funny. Secondly, it is SOOOO not cool to be bashing gays.

da writer said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 10:03 pm
SO funny!!! can't stop laughing...LOL :)

paige.xo said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 6:36 am
paige.xo, Auckland, Other
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
“First things first, I’m surrealist.” — Salvador Dali

LOL. I actually laughed out loud, I didn't just say I did because I thought is was funny! XD

Reminds me of this video me and m friends made, though I think ours was more like 'Never do this[insert person violently attacking doll] to a baby.' 

Love your twilight one too. Almost a thousand comments last time I checked?! o.0

on Jan. 23 2011 at 12:51 pm
_butters_ SILVER, Trinidad, Colorado
6 articles 18 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your life is an occassion, rise to it.
~Mr. Edward Magorium

hahaha dude once again I can't stop laughing! You're awesome keep it up

on Jan. 19 2011 at 1:58 pm
AmandaPanda123 SILVER, Brookville, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
Memories are forever.

Haha this is funny!!! :) I love it!

on Dec. 6 2010 at 12:18 pm
nefariouslyme, Richland, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 72 comments
Keep making more! I love this!

Esperanza GOLD said...
on Dec. 3 2010 at 7:42 pm
Esperanza GOLD, Twinsburg, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't tell me 'sky's the limit' when there are footprints on the moon."

u should write full length plays those would be hilarious

on Nov. 14 2010 at 4:36 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

rotflmfao! read ur Twilight Saga script and that was hilarious too!! keep it up (oh, and if u get a free 5 mins check out mine: Jacob Goes to Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry. tnx) ;)

gregorius said...
on Oct. 25 2010 at 3:18 pm
Funny plot even if it is rediculous! i love babies!

on Oct. 21 2010 at 3:49 pm
amberglow13 SILVER, Tulsa, Oklahoma
8 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always remember that you are unique--just like everybody else."

hahahahahahhaahahahahahaha *gasp* hahahahahahahaha! write more scripts! do it!

on Oct. 20 2010 at 7:39 pm
Rainbowmadhatter, Reno, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 81 comments

i like this one but i really really liked ur twilight one...i need to make a movie of it...and dont worry ill include u when i roll the credits



on Jul. 27 2010 at 11:38 am
KourtneyBriann BRONZE, Niles, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 90 comments
Ur articles are SO FUNNY!!! OMV! Keep writing, u r EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Jul. 26 2010 at 6:20 pm
TheGoldenDomination SILVER, Fort Dodge, Iowa
9 articles 4 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people.
~John Lennon

i love this, it was hilarious. You need to write more scripts!!!!!

on Jul. 9 2010 at 10:15 pm
fyreflies BRONZE, Randolph, Wisconsin
4 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Doctor Suess
"Oh, of course it doesn't hurt to slide in softball." (before I tore up both knees and before I slapped that person)
"Stay with me here now/And never surrender" Skillet

NOTE TO AUTHOR: Join SNL before the guerilla turtles come and try to force you into the Itty Bitty Writing Committee.

on Jun. 23 2010 at 8:18 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"