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September 26, 2009
By LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
90% of my happiness is coming from my pants.

Alright, alright, sorry, inside joke. Okay how about: "If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day; if you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -Terry Pratchett.


[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]



RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.



NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.



ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.



LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:



ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.



RYAN: Not even a gay baby!



LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!



ELLY: Gay babies are our future.



NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!



LAURA: That's not actually true.



RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.



NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)



[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]



ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?



LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?



[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]


The author's comments:
A two-min-or-less screenplay. Feel free to use, just credit me as the author in the credits, and let me know if you intend to film it!

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This article has 66 comments.


on Jun. 13 2010 at 5:57 pm
hysterical!!!!

on Jun. 13 2010 at 2:06 pm
musiclover123, ., Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony. <3

HAHAHAHA i SO agree with darkvisions EVEN THO IM A TWILIGHTER i LOVED LOVED LOVED your *movie* and this is ALSO PURE GENIOUS!!!!=)=)=)

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 9:18 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

LOL NO WAIT ROFL NO WAIT DOF Died of laughter, My parents are suing

on May. 25 2010 at 4:32 pm
forgottenpenname GOLD, Troy, Michigan
12 articles 0 photos 147 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Carpe diem."

That was amazing! XD

darkvisions said...
on May. 25 2010 at 3:49 pm
darkvisions, White Plains, New York
0 articles 0 photos 21 comments
aaaaaa after reading this, and your sooooo accurate remake of Twilight, I've totally confirmed it...you are a GENIUS!!! XD

on May. 22 2010 at 6:19 pm
xenon333 PLATINUM, Billerica, Massachusetts
42 articles 0 photos 150 comments
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!

on May. 13 2010 at 5:13 pm
BlueInk94 PLATINUM, Valley Park, Missouri
30 articles 0 photos 75 comments
THIS IS SOOO FUNNY!

seapenguin said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 8:00 pm
seapenguin, Healdsburg, California
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm a super hero, but with no powers or motivation.

Idk, but I think you should probably be a script writer on SNL. Fo reeeeeelz.

Rowan GOLD said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 11:37 am
Rowan GOLD, Roseville, Minnesota
16 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
A Person's A Person, No Matter How Small
Dr. Suess

this is really funny. have you ever actually filmed these? do more, i love spoofs!

on Apr. 25 2010 at 7:47 pm
MarielAntoinette BRONZE, Charlottesville, Virginia
3 articles 2 photos 20 comments

YOOOUUUU are funny. Quick, taut, nice random flickhere-flickthere wordplay is what is UP.

Please put up more scripts. I know you have them.


on Apr. 9 2010 at 1:26 pm
Your really good at writing scripts. Keep writing!

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2010 at 7:46 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

you do need your own show!! full of funny skits--lol. great job once again!!! lmao

mkgirl395 GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2010 at 2:43 pm
mkgirl395 GOLD, Coppell, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My friend, let's not think of tomorrow, but let's enjoy this fleeting moment of life."
-Omar Kyyam

Your name up in big lights... "The Lucy M. Show!"

Everyone laughing at your plays...

You've got it. Don't forget it.

JeanGrey GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:59 pm
JeanGrey GOLD, Mason City, Iowa
10 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."-Oscar Wilde

Oh that was just HILARIOUS! I deem you future comedic writer!

*takes out the "deem stick" and formally pokes you with it*

Huzzah!

on Mar. 6 2010 at 2:39 pm
SpecialK BRONZE, Titusville, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

(Unable to post a decent comment because she is laughing to hard)

on Feb. 23 2010 at 7:37 pm
musiclover114 SILVER, Woodstock, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

born an original, why die a copy?

i read ur other article and loved it!!!!!! u r unbelievably hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!

K.H.P. BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 3:57 pm
K.H.P. BRONZE, Talala, Oklahoma
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What are you?" -- 'Agile! Mobile! Hostile!'
"What is pain?" -- 'French bread!'
"What is fatigue?" -- 'Army clothes!'
"WILL YOU EVER QUIT?!" -- 'NO! We want some mo'! We want some mo'!'
-Remember the Titans

Very nice!!

AmnyR BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 5:57 am
AmnyR BRONZE, Clifton, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 134 comments

Favorite Quote:
To the world, you may be just one person, but to one person, you may be the whole world. ~unknown

this is so unbeleivably funny!!! ha ha i thought it was hilarious!!!

on Feb. 18 2010 at 4:44 pm
RiotRave SILVER, Earlimart, California
7 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What the frick?!!"
"That's what she said"

OH MAN!! This is seriously hilarious!! I can picture the dude tossing the cat. Goodness... You MUST go into the film industry.

on Jan. 25 2010 at 1:31 pm
lily1411 BRONZE, Fargo, North Dakota
2 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

--Benjamin Franklin

You are seriously going to become a comedy film writer when you're older! epic win:D


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