September 26, 2009
[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]

RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.

NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.

ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.

LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:

ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.

RYAN: Not even a gay baby!

LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!

ELLY: Gay babies are our future.

NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!

LAURA: That's not actually true.

RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.

NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)

[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]

ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?

LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?

[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

Join the Discussion

This article has 66 comments. Post your own now!

dkA.M said...
Nov. 28, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Okkkaaay haha I have a feeling in my gut that you will become one of those comedian play writers =) so original
JessicaMollie said...
Oct. 15, 2009 at 9:40 am
epic lols. But i think you mean at the directors DISCRETION not DIGRESSION. two completely different meanings lol
kittycat said...
Oct. 14, 2009 at 6:35 pm
that was weird?but funny too
Warren_Uzumaki replied...
Nov. 11, 2009 at 10:25 am
funny random stuff is the best! lol
Poems replied...
Nov. 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Esperanza replied...
Dec. 3, 2010 at 7:42 pm
u should write full length plays those would be hilarious
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