ALL REMAINING UMs | Teen Ink

ALL REMAINING UMs

August 27, 2021
By SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]


Arson

Hello Journal, my adoring fan. 

Today I caught some people doing arson! They were making smores over a burning squirrel home! I put out the fire and sent them to jail. They were released! They were committing arson in a squirrel neighborhood! Idiot cops, they should earn to trust my judgment instead of their own questionable concerns.

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


Duck

Hello Journal, my adoring fan.

Today I saved a duck. I was about to save a human who had been kidnapped by a gangster and was about to be killed, but then i noticed the duck crossing the dangerous road. When i got back, the person was dead, but the duck is fine, so it's all good.

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


Kidnapped

Hello Journal, my adoring fan.

Can you believe the nerve of some people?! Not only to kidnap someone, but to dress up as a police officer! Isn't police impersonation illegal? What is the world coming to? Anyway, i was flying along, looking for people to save, when i spotted a “police officer” kidnapping an innocent. I knocked out the villian and returned the victims bag. I don't know what was in it but it was heavy- to a normal person. i , of course, have super strength. Then i took the kidnapper to jail.by the way, a bank was robbed near where i saved that man. Too late to do anything about it though, so i guess thats not relevant.

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


Sunfyre

Dear Journal, my only living fan.

I. failed. I know, shocking! But terribly, true. I suceeded too though. A commet was going to hit earth and possibly kill a few fish. I pushed earth too close to the sun to get it out of the way. On the bright side, all of dinner is cooked. All life on earth is, actually, except me because I'm awesome. Dinner is burnt though… oh well, a new planet can have my incredible powers, intelligence, handsomness, perfection, strength, flight, ect. 

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


Flight

Dear Journal, my adoring fan.

Today on Tv i heard that you can do anything! So when i heard a kid say they wished they could fly, i pushed her off a cliff. I couldn't see the bottom, so i didn't get to see her fly, but i'm sure shes doing it well. 

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


Theif

Dear Journal, my adoring fan.

Today i found a thief stealing walnuts! It was tiny and disguised as a squirrel, but it didn't fool me. I beat it up. The thief faked death, but i could see through the act. I gave the walnuts back to a little boy they were stolen from. He didn't move or thank me, just stood their staring in the direction of the thief. Shock and trauma, no doubt.

Your favorite superhero,

Useless Man


The author's comments:

I'm done posting one by one and I'm sick of having these on my doc, so here you go. i lost all my old pics changing computers, so the pic of useless man was forgone.

oh btw- completely irrelevant but I'm making a tabletop fantasy RPG. not going to do anything with it except play a few campaigns with my DM's(dungeon master's) daughter and anyone else who wants to play, but its a cool concept and I might write a couple of stories from the isle if I have a character I like.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 13 2021 at 9:16 am
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

i have some more but im done with the character

LKQgirl GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2021 at 10:27 pm
LKQgirl GOLD, Somonauk, Illinois
17 articles 17 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
MUH HAH HAH HAH!

hah hah hahahahha so funnnny