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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2181 comments.
praveen.Trichy PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 18 2011 at 2:50 pm
hey ur poem only i remember was amazing one.........i like it(:good job
estherhoran__ GOLD said...
on Jun. 17 2011 at 2:33 pm
AMAZING!!!
littlemonster1 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 6:43 pm
that is a good poem
PassionFruit SILVER said...
on Jun. 13 2011 at 6:09 pm
Wow, good job. I really like it. I like the message you're getting across. As far as critique goes the only line that confused me was "the sky was at my level as i/ gazed at the birdie" Im confused as to where "the birdie" came from. I would understand if you had said A birdie, but THE birdie gives it more significance that the reader can't understand. Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a critic here or be harsh, I actually really love this poem. Keep writing!! And check out some of my work, once its published :)
BSANCHEZ said...
on Jun. 13 2011 at 12:49 pm
I can kind of understand what your saying. But I can't fully.
rubyrainstorm SILVER said...
on Jun. 12 2011 at 12:18 pm
This was a really nice poem, but maybe you could make your message a little bit clearer. Also, if you have time, please check out my poem, The Girl Inside, and others. Thanksssss! :)
inkflowerKNC said...
on Jun. 10 2011 at 2:44 pm
it's pretty good, i like it.
AndreaLatinLoveLopez BRONZE said...
on Jun. 6 2011 at 9:22 pm
love it!! filled w/ lotsa emotion
RanaHewezi1998 SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2011 at 11:23 am
it has good rythmes!
Highbarfreak87 SILVER said...
on Jun. 3 2011 at 11:00 am
Its such an odd poem to follow but its good!'
SweetPolarBearHugs PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 2 2011 at 3:00 pm
this is truely a beautiful poem seriously it is
RahmaReads BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2011 at 2:28 pm
This is beautiful! You really have potential.
Alicia :) said...
on May. 27 2011 at 10:53 am
Wonderful Poem !
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