Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Prosaic-Scriptor said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Only thing that turned me off was the "gazed at the birdie." The tone really threw me for a loop...
FoundYouAtMyFuneral replied...
Feb. 1, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I agree. I liked the poem, but the "birdie" sentence could easily be changed. Great poem. I completely understand its meaning, and it's not the sort of poem that is too direct, and the meaning isn't completely hidden either.
MorrighanPoe said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 4:12 pm
One of the reasons I like it is that the format reminds me of my own poetry. if you'd like to check my work out, it's posted on TeenInk.
MorrighanPoe said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 4:11 pm
To be quite honest, not sure what it's about, but sometimes it's better that way. Great work, love the rhyme and rhythm!
Sync. said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm
WOW! This is perfect, it captured my heart and i sure as hell dont want it bck ths poem is soo great i would appreciate it if you could look at some of my work expesually the latest one called minus a helping hand and give your oppinion :)
ColorsofChaos13 said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Wow, that's so intense, i love it for all it's darkness.
Love~the~LORD<3 replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Same here my friend
Nickel said...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:57 pm
this is really good
sarahbug16 said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm
wuts wrong with it? its so creepy that its good.....
aquamarinalin said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:16 am
I really like this poem, it reminds me of when I was a kid.
Keenan said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:26 am
I'm not going to lie, it was a little weird. Especially the title. Wow...
malgal3 replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Yeah, well I'm not going to lie either, YOU are weird my friend.
acox25 said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:26 am
WOW! this poem is creepy
Unknown said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Amazing! Very well done!
sarahbug16 said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 6:20 pm
SeanConnery said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 2:17 pm
good poem
i like it
StevImagenary said...
Jan. 23, 2010 at 3:44 pm
I loved it. I think it's great to show your inner self.
zacharydinan said...
Jan. 21, 2010 at 7:50 pm
great job. It has a lot of hidden meaning. Please check out my poems.
sjmblue2 said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:40 pm
I know this has meaning like someone else says....i really like it though, it really shows the reader what you all talking about.
NickAdams said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Interesting poem. It seems so symbolic, and I'm still trying to figure it out.; especially, I enjoyed your selective use of capitalization. A little confused about the rhyme scheme, though, for while your poem is listed as free verse, several of the lines rhyme. They seem intentional but also rather sporadic and arbitrarily chosen. Alas that I cannot seem into the poet's mind!
On the whole, great work.
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