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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ryanryanryan said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm
This was exremely well written and had great imagery.
 
ThinkGeek72 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Very interesting and different! I loved it!
 
Alyssa897 said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Great imagry and overall really well writen!
 
ImCoolerThanYou said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Very very well written. Great imagery and good details. You can see it in your mind.
 
ryanryanryan said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm
very well written, has good imagery, amazing flow
 
Slafyg said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:47 am
Nice imagery
 
tdotcooley said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 9:39 am
Very well written and relates to many important realizations in life.
 
Lillie M. said...
Feb. 6, 2012 at 4:30 am
So amazing! This can relate to a lot of different situations, you've written it so well that people can view it in their own ways.
 
Blacknblue_kissez said...
Feb. 5, 2012 at 12:06 pm
This poem is filled with imagery, it's so vivid and beautiful. I can see a warm summers day, and a boy trying to prove his father wrong. I love this.
 
White_Trash843 said...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 4:18 am
Great poem i wish i could be as good as you are and congrats on the mag i hope you keep writing!
 
Labyrinth said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm
It is very good. And where do you get off saying it's "DREADFUL"??? I think you have no eye for poetry. V_V
 
AlexisNicole822 said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm
The flow was incredible, and I loved how it gives the reader different ways to view it. Mind blown(:
 
HisMinx said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm
this is amazing!
 
Jen_Vargas said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Hm... it was interesting... the ending was a bit confusing though...
 
zhlen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Because it is very good, the context is well written and the rhythm is smooth. How did your comment get published? :O
 
Luna557 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 11:03 pm
This made me smile.
 
Bat-Mobile This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 4:17 am
love it, great rhythm
 
brokedownandlonely said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 8:58 pm
great poem
 
hannah.maria said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm
great poem. i really like the theme, and the rhyming is clever and cute. phrasing could be improved, though. great work, keep it up!
 
Snoopy12 said...
Jan. 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Great work! It's so true and beautifully written. Thank you so much for creating this. I absolutely love it when people write poems that are true to life (though fantasy is all right). We can all relate to it and grow off of it. Again, thank you for writing this!
 
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