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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ihatedemapes said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 5:12 am
all them people that said this was good, are LIARS, just praying you read what they call "poetry" Or "Art" if you will, but lets be serious, this sucks.. and for all who did not know, men dont have a womb, change the title noob.
 
Snow Blossom replied...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 9:43 pm
This poem is awful. It is not creative at all. Lots of kids write about their parents stifling them. "People who say its not good and don't know the meaning of poetry" is a matter of opinion. My opinion:I don't like this poem. And for the record, I am a published poet in this magazine as well as other magazines and in a book. This is not good poetry.
 
DooRonRon replied...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Whether you are a "published" poet or not, it is irrelevant. Poetry is a matter of raw emotion coming from the soul. It doesn't matter if one thousand of your poems have been published in magazines before, who are you to state if his poem is good or not. Poetry comes in every shape and form, just because it happens to not be in your favor does not mean it is bad. (Your opinion is taken in to account but it is your opinion of, "This is not good poetry" that isn't.)
 
darlingbrianna said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 6:44 pm
This is an amazing poem :) good job!
 
Jeast10 said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm
it doesnt matter how many times i read this, i get goosebumps every time! check out my work plz((((((::::
 
dakotawright said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:01 am
Very Metaphoric.
 
Amanda_Roo said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Every time I read this, it fills me with an emotion I can't name. This is FANTASTIC!...I would love it if you could get the chance sometime to check out some of my work. Thank you :)
 
Meredith15 said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:42 pm
nicely written!
 
Ella1 said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Absolutely amazing poem, I love it. Would you mind reading some of my work if you get a chance? I would love to hear what you think!
 
AlyBUdawgs said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 1:21 pm
I liked it a lot it tells a story in a beautiful inavative way (:
 
swifthearth said...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I loved it! You incoperated so much into one poem making it all the more powerful. Creative title, nice wording and an inspiring meaning. 

I would be honored if you looked at some of my poems.

 
Warriorsfan said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 6:22 pm

I love such poetry!It just reminds me of so many things!Great job!

 

 
artmantist said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 5:31 pm

hello, nice poem. Would u guys wanna check out my work. its called the cottage 

thank u

 
FlashlevitationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm
creative title!
 
BridgetND said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 9:42 am
this was wonderful!! =] i was wondering if anyone could view my work and tell me what they think? it would mean alot to me
 
Ginger_ninja72521 said...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm
I think this is amazingly deep. I love all of your metaphors! The simplness of your wording brought so much meaning! I can't wait to see more!
 
Cubster said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Have you written poetry pefore? You are my inspiration.
 
cftcft9090 said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 11:26 am
This was amazing!!!!!!!!! How do you find the inspiration to create such a magnificent piece, or any piece in general?
 
ilovewriting43 said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 10:51 am
I had to read this like five times before I could comprehend it :) The message is really good, definitely one of those that makes you think!
 
Kim121819 said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 6:12 pm
HAVE YOU GUYS EVER WONDERED HOW THESE POEMS GOT SOOOOOO POPULAR? HOE IS IT SO POPULAR? I WRITE GOOD POEMS TOO!
 
Leyna1997 replied...
Nov. 18, 2011 at 12:01 pm
No disrespect, but maybe if you put a little more effort into writing your poetry and getting noticed instead of putting time into bragging and whinning, we would all be looking and commenting on your poem instead.
 
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