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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Shayla C. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm
This is beautiful ! I think this is a well thoughted and was put out very well .. Im very impressed !! :D
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:05 am
I agree and what explain the meaning of the title
 
Erebus_Wildfire said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 9:04 am
this piece is good the structure of it is not bad and even when giving a regular post you should always be sure have punctuation
 
Luna557 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm
See, i disagree about the punctuation comment, in a free verse poem you can do whatever you wish with the punctuation. Just look at e. e. cummings :)
 
shmam7624 said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Love it! I keep reading it over and over again.
 
vazenitran98 said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 11:03 am
Amazing. You are very talented.
 
TawnyNerd1995 replied...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 9:13 am
paints a wonderful picture.
 
Kim R. said...
Dec. 28, 2011 at 9:00 am
this is o.k. for a free verse. But I am confused on the title a mother has a womb not the father. All in all its alright.
 
justcoker replied...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 12:31 am
That is sort of the irony to it. when the mom is supposed to be the protective on, it's the dad
 
Annoymous said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm
that was amazing
 
Bunnie said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 6:56 pm
That was absolutely beautiful. I wish I could have your talent!
 
Tremendous said...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 10:06 pm
didn't see that coming. eloquently written. bravo!
 
AlexisTashe said...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Beautiful.!
 
MeganRozalia said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 11:56 am
cant we all just get along
 
PrimaDonna said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 11:42 pm
I'm confused... How is this free verse?  I like the theme and the way that its written but it is rhyming and has a definite structure...
 
Schuyler said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I love the theme of your poem about an overprotected father that won't let his child go or grow up . I can relate to to this poem a lot because my dad is really overprotected as well.
 
justin95 said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 12:03 pm

i like it.(:

 

 
trainboy said...
Dec. 20, 2011 at 7:34 am
Really good poem!  I like your descriptions.  Keep writing!
 
trainboy replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Really, your going to respond with that type of comment?!
 
eliana924 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Great poem! So provacative... I especially like the title.
 
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