Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

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This article has 2125 comments.

on May. 21 2012 at 4:47 pm
sweetangel4life GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
19 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Sc. II).

"Let them eat cake."
Marie Antoinette

sooo awesome and wonderfully written. wanna see more of your work

on May. 17 2012 at 10:29 am
ILuv2read101 BRONZE, Lomita, California
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
i really love this poetry..i think you did a great job or more like awesome!

on May. 16 2012 at 9:59 am
mindless_dreaming BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"May make my heart as a millstone, set my face as a flint, Cheat and be cheated, and die: who knows? We are ashes and we are dust." -Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 'Maud'

THIS IS AMAZING I love this, says so much in so little.

on May. 15 2012 at 9:26 am
thatkiddronnie BRONZE, Berwyn, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"They say people in your life are seasons, and everything that happens is for a reason"

It says a lot, Amazing Job!

Krissy F. said...
on May. 14 2012 at 12:50 pm
The assonance and consonance in this poem is great! The pathetic fallacy makes this story very interesting!!

NATLIN said...
on May. 14 2012 at 12:38 pm
Great job! One thing I really liked was how the piece rhymed all the way through. Also, the stanzas were great because they were in the perfect order and sequence.

on May. 13 2012 at 12:35 pm
ClarityRedemption BRONZE, Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 2 photos 4 comments
Great job! 

on May. 13 2012 at 12:43 am
MyBlissInChaos GOLD, Las Vegas, Nevada
13 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Everything will be okay in the end if its not okay then its not the end

amazing, simply beautiful. :'D great job. keep writting!! :)

on May. 10 2012 at 6:39 pm
madlinejoy SILVER, Deale, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
let go and let God
"Love is not an emotion but a choice"

still on top

on May. 10 2012 at 9:21 am
DaleTheWhale BRONZE, Tipp City, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You weren't put on this earth to be ordinary."

I thoroughly enjoy this poem. It has an original message and it has a great flow. However, I'm not really a fan of the birdie part, and I would suggest using proper grammer next time. Still, good job.

on May. 4 2012 at 1:41 am
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

i thought that the last line was the best!!!!

on May. 3 2012 at 2:25 pm
dubstep_lover, Waterford, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This poem is really good. The thing I liked most about this poem is the rhyming. Another thing I liked in this poem is the stanzas because they are in the perfect order and place.

anon12345 said...
on May. 2 2012 at 8:31 pm
anon12345, Gys Drive, California
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If there is a will, there's a way"- Theodore Hertzel

yeah, i don't see why this poem is so famous...

on May. 2 2012 at 1:59 pm
I Liked the consanace in the poem. I think it sounds better that way. I was a little confused at first, but as I read on I understood what the poem was saying and what you ment.

on May. 1 2012 at 3:05 pm
RoseMadder95 BRONZE, Hockessin, Delaware
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

- John Lennon

You are seriously talanted. I love how deep it is. It has a good flow to it, too. Keep writing!

on May. 1 2012 at 2:36 pm
NeonGreenMoon BRONZE, Sweet Home, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I really enjoyed this. your very talented, keep it up! :)

Chubby Dawg said...
on May. 1 2012 at 12:57 pm
That was a great poem! I enjoyed it like it was a Wiz Khalifa concert!

Chubby Dawg said...
on May. 1 2012 at 12:54 pm
It was a great poem. That poem was like being at a Wiz Khalifa concert. keep up the good stuff.

T-Plush 2 said...
on May. 1 2012 at 12:27 pm
I really liked the poem. I think you could have made it better by maybe adding a simile or metaphor. Other than that I really liked it.

SORECROR1234 said...
on May. 1 2012 at 10:28 am
The poem is very deep and it is very good. It is divided into stanzas and it also has pathetic fallacy. The poem probably would've been better if those last few lines weren't there. But I like the whole father and son idea. So overall this poem is a very good poem that could use maybe a few little changes.


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